nothing ever changes, xu minghao

35

song:
soaked - léon

IN YOUR ARMS

blood moon in 11 days

Although Hell was scorching in heat, he never felt so cold. In one of the many rooms, Jun was sitting on the floor of what he once called his room, yet this place didn't feel like a home anymore. There were only sounds of occasional creaking and simple one-pound knocks from the maid, but every other moment reeked in silence– he was losing his sanity.

It seems that his whole life had amounted to this decision. Was he going to continue to be the cowardice child who watched his mother die or would he stand up tall and defend the ones he really cared about?

He knew the answer deep inside of him, he wanted to be brave, but all he could picture is everything going wrong. Everything going wrong from his attempted efforts would leave him alone with the monster he was supposed to call father. The man he was supposed to look up to was forcing him to hurt the people he considered his family; his own father wanted him to sabotage his best friend. He wanted to rip Jun away from the moments of life that helped him breathe.

Jun was lost, the two paths seemed to lead in the same direction of despair. His hands gripped the floor, the stability comforting and chilling at the same time. Memories flooding his veins; his soul electrocuted of his tortured and beautiful past. He clenched his jaw tightly as the eery silent mansion clawed at him and before he knew it a helpless whimper escaped in mouth showing audible weakness–

It all seemed to happen too fast, as he was clutching onto a glass of water his eyes turned white in the small apartment, his veins seizing with power through the warm glow as he involuntarily screamed in pain.

Idalia wasn't paying attention to Minghao since the morning, the two agreeing to conspire a fail-proof plan to change everything, no, save everyone. It wasn't just Minghao anymore, it was everyone around him– including herself. So she was writing in a notepad, the page was full of annotations, shapes, questions and a haloed-angry emoticon to emulate Minghao.

Her tunnel-vision focus was interrupted, his scream and the clamored glass falling on the hardwood was enough to make the hairs on her neck stand up as she whipped her head around him.

The sight was terrifyingly beautiful.

She jumped up to her feet with urgency, almost tripping on the table leg as she got to him. The short distance felt long, she inspected him quickly, the glowing-bulging veins, the glossed over eyes, and his hands that clenched by his sides for dear life made her lose her breath and a knot formed in her throat.

It was terrifying, absolutely heartbreaking to see him in so much pain as he tried to fight it off, trying so desperately to remove the side of him that wanted to explode and be released. Her mind swirled as images of banshee screams from her cousin distracted her from the struggling man in front of her.

Because they were so similar as they were forced to transform, they were both attempting to fight it off so desperately– but it never works. Instead they'll face the bone-breaking pain pointlessly.

Her feet moved her closer to him without thought, his eyes now tightly shut.

"Hao, you have to breathe, you can't fight it." In a situation where chaos and anxiety consumed the air, Idalia's words were soothing, and for once as she attempted to attack the problem head on she felt confident, like she could be useful. Even if she wasn't, she wouldn't stop trying.

But for her reassurance, he peaked open his eyes– resentment and pain evident, but she just softly smiled at him, hoping her calm waves could tame his whirlwind of a storm. She reached towards him, knowing she could be crossing the line– destroying the indented sand line he made on his beach in order to keep her away, but she had to. He needed to know what was reality, that he wasn't alone, and that fighting it would only bring indefinite pain.