COMPLETED
Penn State University.
Home to the craziest sorority girls, most obnoxious football players, and a possible Vice President's son.
Sloane Beck wants nothing more than to have her cheating ex-boyfriend crawl back to her.
Blake Day wants not...
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Sloane Beck
I A M E M P T Y.
My knees were tucked into my chest and my head laid on top of them. Silent tears ran out of my eyes while I just stared straight ahead. Not a thought came to my mind as I tried to process how the rest of my life was going to play out.
I miss being in Russia.
Although I am thankful for the life I have now—I had never wanted to be someone else more than in this moment.
I let out a pathetic chuckle as I laid my head against my arms. He was going to leave me now? Wasn't he? As if that was what I deserved, as if that's what I wanted—I was going to kill myself if he left me.
I wasn't being dramatic—I was done.
I was done opening up to people, I was done getting heartbroken, and I was done with the family who adopted me.
Yes, I was thankful for what they had done for me but they weren't worth the amount of pain that I had been put through. I missed my old life no matter how bad it was before. I missed eating bread and saltines for every meal with a cup of dirty water.
I missed when I had no one important in my life because then it was so much easier to not fucking care. It was so much easier back then to have a secret.
He was going to be heartbroken, god it would rip him to shreds knowing the truth. I should've never gotten to know him—I was screwed. I would walk out there later and find an empty apartment because that's who I am and that's all that I deserve.
All of my life I just wanted to feel happy. I wanted to feel like life wanted me as much as I wanted it. But, life just hated giving me happiness it seemed.
He made me so happy—he still makes me happy. I'm truly and madly in love with Blake Day—and knowing that this was probably going to scare him away, fucking ripped me to pieces.
I gripped my hair at the roots and pulled it so hard that I wanted the blood to pour out.
"Guys! Stop it!" I heard Gwen yelling and that's when I froze. I snapped back into what I had snapped out of. What was going on out there? Or was I going fucking crazy?
