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I sit down on the seat beside the asleep boys so I can also try and get some rest. Which, right now, feels impossible.

Guilt is already filling my veins and the only thing I can think of that sums up my scrambled thoughts is: what was I thinking?

Why and how did I manage to kiss a cruel man like Harry Styles? And what makes me more aggravated is that it felt so good.

His lips against mine were euphoric. The sensation of his hands trailing down my arm was heavenly. His voice only made me more drawn to him.

And my mum, my mum will be so mad. She always tells me about my dad. How a hook up can make a happy mistake like me. I'm allowed no relationships until she thinks it's time for me to reproduce to keep our blood going.

It's so daunting knowing I have no choice but to follow the rules. She has eyes everywhere. She has people who could kill me just like that. For example, I was twelve and on a mission, I got lost. It took my mum 1.012 minutes to find me.

I'm not allowed a relationship, nor hookups, nor kisses and Harry isn't an exception to that.

But Harry's soft yet firm lips felt so perfect against mine. And his cold rings against me, make butterflies roam my stomach.

When he's closer, his voice is so much more raspy and you can't help but want more.

Harry is a scary man. His eyes burn through mine and it feels as if I've been stung by a bee. His monotone voice makes him firm and serious yet he's so free to do anything in this world.

Harry's got a tall figure- it feels as if I'm a bug ready to be squashed.

Harry could kill me, yet I'm still drawn by anything he does; how he does everything without a care in the world.

Unable to sleep, I look out at the clouds. I can't believe I kissed him. I don't even know how to kiss.

It's so wrong yet it felt so right.

I hope he forgets this. All of this. I hope he doesn't mention it. And I hope I never do something like this again. I'll want to crawl into a little ball while I sink into the empty abyss.

That, that would be what kills me.

***

I squint my eyes open as I look at my surroundings. I must have fallen asleep.

I slowly sit up and realise I was leaning on Niall's shoulders. This slight sprinkle of panic washes over me as I look at the shoulder I slept on. I hope I didn't sleep on a bruise. I look up at his face to see he's fast asleep meaning I didn't hurt him. In fact, all the boys are.

I wipe my eyes to wake up more. I clear my throat and look out the small window on the opposite side to Niall. We're on the ground. I wonder how long we've been here. I give my eyes another rub before standing up and walking into the room where the small incident happened.

I let out a gasp as I feel I've bumped into someone. "Harry." I say, a little shocked that he came out of nowhere.

"Woods." He says, his voice scratchy. Slowly, I look up at his face for the first time. His lips that once touched mine are plump and are deep pink and his eyes are covered by sunglasses. Something in me keeps looking back at his lips and a subtle flutter fills my stomach as memories come flooding back which makes me bite my lower lip.

"You said that this wouldn't be a reoccurring thing." He states, distracting my thoughts for a moment. Harry rolls his lips in, making this hot feeling flush all over me so I look down at the floor.

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