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HARRY STYLES

"We've been doing all the late night talking." I sing to myself.

I lied to Haze, I wanted to go to the art shop to buy her more things. She's so fucking talenting and she seemed to enjoy it so I wanted to treat her.

I pick up another canvas for her to paint and put it in the basket.

I look at the shelves and see a diary.

I pick it up but not for Hazel, like I've been doing all this time, but for myself. All I'm going to write about is Hazel, that's a given.

I love Hazel so much. She makes it seem like it's all okay. She makes me feel so heard and I love her for it. I love everything about her. I like her cold feet at night, I love her smile and her laugh, I love her heart, I love her voice- I even like her singing voice.

I love her smell. It's sweet and soft, subtle.

If I could I would drown myself in a bottle of her perfume, getting absorbed by her smell.

I reckon that no matter what, my love for her will never weaken. It'll only get stonger.

I still stand by that.

*

I get home to dirt on the floor. Tee brushing against me and purs.

"Hazel?" I shout out. Normally she'd run up to me with a smile on her face. I turn to Tee, a bad feeling in my stomach. "Where's mummy, hm?" I weakly smile.

"Haze?" I call her again. She might be taking a bath.

I start to walk to the stairs and I almost fucking throw up.

"Shit."

I see a drip of blood. Fuck.

There's a pool of water there too, and a mop.

The mop as blood on it too.

My stomach quivers, I can't fucking breathe. Hyperventilating doesn't even fucking start it.

She can't be gone. She can't.

"Hazel!" I scream out and there's no reply.

No.

This can't be happening.

No.

I run up the stairs, she cannot be gone. I barge though all the doors, even the spare one and she's not fukcing there.

I turn back down stairs and go through the conservatory, she's not there either.

Fucking hell.

No.

No.

Please, no.

I feel all the colour in my skin disappear, my throat is so fucking dry, my face becomes wet with tears.

I run out to the garden, I even check the pool.

That blood can't be hers.

It can't.

I walk back inside and fall to the floor by my wife's fucking blood.

But I love her.

She wouldn't leave.

If it was some one else's blood, why isn't she still here?

Shit.

The heart donations, her saying about the dirt at the front door, the rustling in the trees.

Liam was right.

They know.

I close my eyes and hug Tee.

They've won.

I promised her that we're safe now, I fucking told her that. I truly thought we were free. I thouhg Liam was just trying to scare us or something, deep down I knew he wouldn't.

I fucking fuck everything up. I left her alone because I truly thought she was now safe but I proven myself wrong once again.

Why do I never fucking listen to people? Why am I fucking wrong? Always. The hearts took her, she'll be punished for doing this.

Why not me? I'm the one who let her free.

I'm going to fucking kill whoever did this. I vowed not to fucking end another life but taking her is like take away her life which she deserves to have.

I'm angry. I feel the fire igniting a dark place within me again.

They've won, but I'm not giving up that easily.

I'm a sore looser, what can I say?

My phone buzzes and glimpse of hope sparks through me.

I take out my phone and frown, my tears stream down.

"Smile, you can do that."

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