JJ Maybank Imagines

Thoughts

Warning: Mental health and suicide attempt

Y/n POV:

I honestly don't know how I got here. If anyone was to take a look at my life they would think that I had it made. But the truth is I feel like everything is going wrong. I feel like I keep failing.

Let me explain.

I live what people around here call the "kook life". My parents have money and we live on the "good" side of town. Everyone thinks that living this life is cupcake and rainbows, and for some it is. But not me.

My parents may have money, but they are never around. They are always traveling for business and when they do stay in town for more than two days, all they do is tell me everything I am doing wrong.

I have the wrong friends. My grades aren't good enough. I've gained too much weight. Or I've lost too much weight. I need to be more involved in the club. The list goes on and on. They never stop.

Not only do my parents like to nag at me about my choices, so does everyone else on this side of the island. Especially Rafe Cameron.

I think he feels like it is his personal job to make my life a living hell. Sometimes I wish that someone would just hit him with a bus. Maybe then he would leave me alone.

Then there's my friends.

I have known Kiara for most of my life. She is like me a "kook", but neither of us ever accepted that title. We grew up trying to save the environment and just live as equals with everyone on the island. That's how we met the boys.

John B and Pope have always felt like brothers to me. We mess around and play pranks on each other. They pretend like I am their annoying little sister, but at the end of the day they always have my back.

Then there's JJ. For so long he was just my best friend. The guy that I could always count on no matter what. And that friendship turned into something much deeper. He is the love of my life.

Everything was going so well with them. I thought that I was finally getting to a point where I was just happy. Then things started to change.

Over the past few weeks I have felt like they want me around less and less. Plus they started to hang around with Sarah Cameron. The one person on the island that I hated the most.

Sarah had always made it a point to tell me the things that I should be doing. The way I should be dressing. Who I should be dating. The girl had a comment about everything.

I could handle all of that but after what she did to Kiara. I was so done with the "kook princess".

I tried to keep my cool and just brush it off. But it was getting to the point where I hadn't hung out with any of them in days.

I tried to call and make plans with Kiara, but she said she was working. I tried Pope, busy. John B, didn't answer. Lastly I tried JJ, thinking that he would at least want to see me, but no he said that he was in the middle of something.

I tried so hard not to be upset and let my mind wander as it normally does, but I couldn't help it. Why didn't they want to see me? Was I not good enough for them anymore? Did I do something?

My mind kept going and I knew the only way to calm it down was to go for a walk down the beach. So that's what I did.

I made my way down to the water. It always seemed to keep me grounded. I walked for what seemed like forever and honestly started to feel a little better.

That's when I saw it.

John B, Pope, Kiara, Sarah, even JJ. They were all sitting on the beach surf boards in hand. They were laughing and seemed to be having a great time. Without me.