Don Ferna (BWWM)

20.

He didn't know how long he had stayed, sitting on the bed with his face in his palms.

His mind was everywhere and yet, nowhere. He felt he was overthinking everything, yet not thinking enough.

What was he going to do?

He hated feeling the way he did. Indecisiveness was not something he usually felt.

He had never had anyone outside his family address or question the things he did. Well, he had been interrogated a few times because of his father's death but they were strangers. Their opinions did not matter. Eniola and Clara on the other hand were like family to him and they didn't seem too pleased to know that he actually killed people. Should I have let Paulo go? Would I have been any less guilty? He did not understand if what he felt was guilt. Perhaps it would be better if Eniola had remained oblivious to the entire situation.

He shook his head.

He knew he couldn't do that to her. He already owed her eight years of the life she lived without him and keeping her in the dark was no way to regain her trust... And affection.

What if her knowing about it made them drift apart again?

Yes, I kill people. It's what I fucking do.

He hoped he had the same courage as Alvaro to not sugarcoat things and just go for the jugular. He also wished he would have lied his way out like Rebecca or Miguel.

He felt useless.

He barely heard the knock on the door before the bed dipped beside him.

"Hey." Her light cocoa butter scent was almost enough to keep him from screaming in frustration.

"Hey." Tobias managed to say, slowly detaching his hands from his face. Her beautiful brows contorted in concern as she stared at him.

"You look like you've been crying."

"I haven't." He answered truthfully.

He thought his palms had dug into his eyes and probably irritated them.

"What's wrong?" She asked quietly and he almost shook his head.

"It's nothing..." He answered and she blinked slowly before pulling him towards her. A small part of him expecting a kiss was disappointed when she pulled him close to her.

"I'm not falling for that... Tell me." Her voice was stern and he almost laughed at the sudden protectiveness. "So what, you kill people. You've always made the right decisions. I'm pretty sure they had it coming."

"They did... I just don't feel at ease with all this." He forced himself to pull away from her impossibly warm hold. "There is still a lot I have to tell you. I just do not know how to..."

He wanted to fill her in on every single detail she had missed before and after she came into his life. He did not just owe it to her but he wanted her to know him better and know who he really was.

"You can take all the time you need, I don't mind." A small smile ghosted his lips as he stood up and gave her his hand, mulling over her words.

Time... Maybe that was what he needed.

"Alright. Can we go down? I still haven't had the cookies and something tells me leaving Varo down with them was a horrible idea."

Eniola laughed but tugged on his arm. "Yeah... That's probably true but can we do something before we go?" She asked, not waiting for a reply before dragging him down by the arm.

The cookies could wait.

He made zero effort to resist when he felt her metal ring against his lip. Her lips moved feverishly against his, and he wasted no time in letting her enter his mouth. He knew his new favorite piercing had to be the one on her tongue. Definitely.