A Letter To News Broadcasters

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Dear Sirs or Madams or Persons;

As spokesman for the "Cartoon Channel", I wish, on behalf of our corporate team and staff, to thank you for your work in alienating so many viewers.

Your work has not completely gone unappreciated.

There is nothing more than your broadcasting that better sells "Looney Tunes", "Heckel and Jeckel", "Yosemite Sam", and all of our characters.

Your two sets of "facts" thing is brilliant.

But it's only human to avoid pain. So far no cures are in sight, just our morphine of mirth. And, of course, Saturday Night Live.

We're your fans, but gentlemen or ladies or persons, if we can not believe what we watch on TV, we might as well believe that Sylvester the cat is a vegetarian.

That Tom and Jerry are really a gay couple;  that Olive Oyl could actually cause two men to have countless fights over her, unbelievable; and that the Roadrunner owns the Acme Company.

Really?

No!

It's unbelievable.

Our channel is very useful.

When we watch turmoil we want to laugh not cringe with doom.

In closing, please keep up the good work.

In fairness to this matter, this letter has also been sent to your truth-in-broadcasting opponets.

After all, the Roadrunner should never be caught.

Wespectfullwe yours,

Elmer Fudd

By the way, duck season and wabbit season wun concurrently.

First wemember all your camouflage, good luck with that and happy hunting.

Please watch out for Daffy Duck when out there.

He might work for you someday.

He's unbeweevable.

That's....... All.

Folks!

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