In Review

Welcome To The "New Florida"

"This year, 2024, has been quite a ride!" stated Florida's governor today.

"Fixing all the sin is a tall order for any state government.

But all our work toward an ultra righteous state is progressing nicely.

New welcomed mandates will assure our conservative goals will be met soon.

Many changes include insuring our public places will follow our moral guidelines.

Places in Florida like zoos, parks, government buildings, public beaches, and transportation facilities will be monitored as to moral compliance with the new codes.

First item, government and school buildings referring to stairway decorum
Item one of code established by my newly formed "FF" or Florida's Finest (our morality missionaries) an administrative enforcement organization for oversight of the new mandates.

The FF jokingly referred to as our "Jesus Janitors" a little nickname my pastor, the new manager of the six hundred sixty-six members of the FF across this state, came up with.

Changes in school and government buildings include:

● No longer will females wearing dresses be allowed to use stairways.
Elevators will be available for their use in all facilities. More elevators are under construction as we speak.

● Dress length is, of course, under consideration. The accepted lengths will be announced and enforced in following weeks. The sooner the better.

● Tourist behavior will be closely monitored on all beaches, restaurants and bars.

● Proper beach attire will be monitored in weeks ahead of spring break this year.

● Lyrics of all performances and broadcasts, including those at public beaches, will be screened for inappropriate content.

● Our zoos across the state will fit some animals with clothing, for instance, chimpanzees will be required to wear pants, and I'm sure all parents and ladies will appreciate this much needed improvement. Monitors from our FF, just as in item one's case, will be posted at all critical areas inside the zoo property.

● Until these changes are made all women and all children, even children over the age of 21, will not be allowed at the zoo.

Other zoo improvements by the FF are as follows:

Female gorillas must be fitted with brasseries, for obvious reasons. "You can just imagine the decadent thoughts being created in our youth before our new FF guidelines. Also, giraffe males are being studied at this time for covering their you know what! Again, a work in progress as we move forward toward a more righteous Florida experience. All animals will be separated by gender to avoid viewing any natural reproductive activity.

● At this time, and in the future, anyone should report violations of these new codes by family members, coworkers, neighbors or anyone else you observe to FFmm4you.com or you can call and report them to local law enforcement at 911. Our FF investigators are strategically stationed through out Florida for a more rapid response time.

● Undercover FF agents and video surveillance including CC, satellite and drone technology will be widely utilized.

The amount of fines and length of inprisionment will be established by our fine Florida Justice system.

More changes are always being made. We've got a lot of work ahead of us. So for now, please be patient, soon this sinful place will finally be improved.

So God bless us one and all, and please remember to vote, vote early and vote often. Remember, it's your government too."