In Review

The Secret Plan

"I can't believe this proposal can be taken seriously by our government. "

"Yes, Mr. Secretary, it's bizarre, but we've examined the plan."

"In these desperate hours, we think it might just work if we continuously observe wind and weather conditions, just like D-day in WWII."

"Instead of boots on the ground or aircraft, this approach stealthfully gains effective proximity to the military objectives in question as well as the naval threats to the south of Ukraine."

"Well, I'll run this past the Senate and"

"No! No, we can't, they will politicize anything."

"This must be treated as clandestine, like an army ranger or navy seal operation, only from a safe altitude like a carpet bombing operation. "

"We must be air snipers."

"Air snipers? With canisters?"

"Yes, we have been studying the effects and proportions and probable results for years."

"It's just too dangerous for use close to civilian or military communities in friendly areas."

"The wind will be used as the delivery method."

"A natural vehicle for a weapon such as this."

"It just sounds so Si-Fi, General Salazar."

"This is the 21st century, Mr. Secretary. "

"Remember from your youth, the 21st century is where Si-Fi takes place."

"Oh, like Star Trek?"

"I suppose that's one example, yes, with a touch of Alice in Wonderland."

"The President will have to be in the loop."

"Always, Mr. Secretary, I'll run it past him, and after the laughter, it will be quiet."

"The real thinking will be in the Oval Office."

"Then he'll see the logic of it."

"I know him, he didn't get elected without out-of-the-box thinking."

"If he treats the situation in Europe like he did his campaigns, he'll say 'If you are certain of the science of this, then let's do it. We go big or go home.'."

"So the plan is in motion."

"Logistics are being monitored."

"The chemists are preparing canisters as we speak."

"Aircraft are readied."

"This will be a NATO operation."

"If all goes as planned, Putin will not even know why this happened to his army."

"Ukrainian pilots have been chosen by their own military leaders. "

"Let's roll!"

"I just feel bad for what will happen to the wildlife in the area."

"Collateral damage is always considered."

"Our priorities have been established."

"It's still a go with the plan."

"In the following days, four thousand pounds of altitude triggered small canisters of psilocybin gas will be strategically  deployed on the Russian caravan and supply hub in Belarus."

"I have heard of psilocybin. What exactly is it."

"It's  a psychedelic drug derived from a certain mushroom."

"Oh, right, I remember hearing about it in the 1970's."

"We've scratched the idea of playing Jefferson Airplane and Pink Floyd music on loud speakers when the explosions occur exactly twenty-five feet above the Russians."

"They don't deserve good music."

"Next there would be a stampede of gas-mask wearing Ukrainian civilians going in with machetes and small weapons."

"The music wouldn't be heard over the screaming of confused Russian soldiers on a very very bad trip."

"Their trip to Ukraine was bad for us."

"One bad trip deserves another."

"The gas masks will keep us safe from the drug and the very bad odor when mutilation and defication occur."

"But war is HELL for everyone."

"It's THEIR turn to learn this!"