Jily Oneshots (pt2)

A Matter Of Urgency

by ReaderMagnifique
sequel to <Betrayed, Devastated, Heartbroken, Inconsolable, and Woeful>

James: please help

Lily: What's wrong?

Are you okay?

James: i need a tragic backstory and i need it now.

Lily: …

James: for the record i have never been more serious about a thing in my life.

Lily: I almost spat tea on my laptop.

Because I was worried for you.

I almost spat MY TEA onto NICK MILLER.

James: okay

for that i am sorry

truly

but this is a matter of urgency

Lily: I have put my tea to one side.

You have my attention.

Be brief, Potter.

James: lily its me

Lily: LOL

True true true.

Okay, I am genuinely listening now.

Hit me with your problem.

James: sirius is picking a christmas film and he must be stopped

right now

Lily: I want to say it won't be that bad, just let him pick

BUT

It is Sirius

James: lily

its worse than you can possibly imagine

he's going to pick elf

Lily: NO!

James: EXACTLY!

Lily: Unacceptable

I'm calling 999

James: HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE IT

HE DOES IT TO BETRAY ME

he does thi ! ! ! !

because even the title page makes me flinch

and because he is an arse

I AM WORD PERFECT ON THIS ATROCITY!

Lily: That's abuse

James: but he gets away with it because he has a tragic backstory

and i am not questioning the validity of it

i would never

but right now i need something bigger

a validier one, if you will

because i know he is going to pull this shit when we go home too

and mum will say yes

and make me sit through it AGAIN

and i don't think i can survive elf twice in one year

let alone one month

Lily: That would be traumatizing

James: it is

Lily: And obviously both Sirius and your mum are immune to your eyebrow raising debility and subsequent heartbreak.

James: cold and unfeeling monsters that they are

Lily: But you're in your flat right now.

James: yeah