Jily Oneshots (pt2)

as in love with you as i am

by situational_irony_13 on archiveofourown.org

Lily just wanted a quiet 6th year. Just wanted to leave behind all of the things she thought she knew. As long as she didn’t hold on to anything, ingrain it into her being, nothing could betray her. Nothing could rip the ground out from under her.

No one would be able to hurt her again.

Lily figured the trick was not caring. If she didn’t care that Severus had hurt her, she wouldn’t hurt, right?

Remus thought she was being stupid. Lily was sure she was.

Because the trick isn’t not caring. The trick is moving on.

Easier said than done. Not that anyone knew, of course; this is Lily Evans we’re talking about. Lily Evans was perfect. Lily Evans never missed a day of class, never made a mistake, never stopped smiling. Lily Evans was a prefect, handled all of her responsibilities, was on top of it all–

–Lily Evans was so profoundly broken that it hurt to think about it.

The only time she ever mentioned it was to Remus Lupin, her fellow prefect, during rounds. Every night she’d finally say it: how numb she was, her lack of motivation, how each smile was getting harder and harder to force out.

“I think you might be my only friend, Remus.”

Lily Evans was fighting alone.

Or, at least she thought she was, until reality smacked her in the face. It started with the little things. Sirius would bring up one too many snacks or drinks from the kitchens, and leave it on the table next to her. Peter would ask for company when sneaking to Hogsmeade, so Lily could get chocolate with him. And Remus, already an unending source of support, continued to be her shoulder to lean on.

Potter was different. He never once said a word to her, never even really made eye contact. But he’d tuck her in on the couch when she fell asleep doing homework, he’d finish any homework that she didn’t when she’d pass out from exhaustion, and anyone who said anything about her would end up in the hospital wing not an hour later.

Not that Lily really knew any of this. She strongly suspected, but she never knew.

It started with all the little things, but it really hit her one evening after a particularly brutal Advanced Arithmancy lesson, when she swung open the portrait door, exhausted, and heard “Oi Evans, you look absolutely knackered. Get over here!”

Sirius, of course. The wanker. But she heard them , as a collective, and felt her body subconsciously relax and a smile emerge on her face unbidden. And that’s when she knew.

She’d become friends with the Marauders...

...And it was the best thing that could’ve ever happened to her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Remus!”

Lily Evans was late. Not for the train, she could never be that irresponsible. But she was running behind her self-imposed schedule to make her first Heads meeting of the year. Her Head Girl badge gleamed against her chest, and she couldn’t help but walk proudly (though very swiftly, because she was indeed late).

She was making a beeline towards Remus, who was her personal hope for Head Boy; he hadn’t said anything about it all summer, but she was hoping he was just keeping it a surprise. Before she could reach him, she heard a loudly bellowed “EVANS!” and that was all the warning she got before Sirius Black was sweeping her up in the massive bear-hug.

Lily remembered quite vividly Remus’s general astonishment that Sirius and Lily got on like a house on fire. But Sirius and Lily shared their childhood trauma of never quite fitting in at home, and the pain of losing a sibling you care for. Not to mention, Lily had a cunning side which Sirius worked hard to bring out.