Jily Oneshots (pt2)

Entropy

by ionizable

Evans,

You should really consider making use of that lovely four poster bed you've got in your room. It's nice and soft and warm and fluffy and comfortable, and I know those sore muscles in your back and neck would disappear if they got to sink themselves into soft downy mattresses and blankets instead of getting stretched all night while you slump over your books.

At any rate, I was the one who left a blanket on top of you by mistake. Silly me. Just can't seem to keep track of where I leave my blankets these days. Hope it didn't inconvenience you too much.

Oh and while I was there carelessly abandoning my blankets, I happened to absentmindedly make off with all your books. Must say, it was quite horrid of me, but let me assure you, all fifty pounds of solid bound textbooks are quite safe. However, I did also happen to leave a pillow in their place. I'm sure your cheekbones will thank you in the morning by being delightfully unsore. Feel free to keep the pillow, by the way, I've noticed you happen to have a lovely habit of drooling.

James

Potter,

I suppose I must pretend to appreciate your gesture, however unwarranted it was. You may leave my books at the same table you found them. I expect to find them by 5 o'clock tonight.

Lily

Evans,

I must say, you're quite the clever little minx. You win this round, but next time I'm prepared to wait as long as it takes for you to show up for our little (book-returning) date. Not to worry though, I'm as gracious a loser as I am a winner. If you're reading this, you've undoubtedly found all three of your textbooks exactly where you expected them to be… unless that dreadful textbook thief happened by and also felt the irresistible desire to make off with these lovely gems. Nasty piece of work, that one, just doesn't seem to know his boundaries lately. Perhaps we should set up a private meeting between us two Heads to discuss what exactly we're going to do with him.

James

P.S. It's only 8 o'clock right now, but I promise I can usually wait longer than this. Quidditch practice was ridiculously exhausting, and I don't think I can deprive my stomach of food any longer. Did you intentionally make me wait through dinner? Don't answer that. Some questions don't need to be asked.

P.P.S. I hope you don't mind, but I took a look at one of the books while I was waiting. At first I found the text to be quite baffling, as I have no prior knowledge regarding Muggle theories on… science, is it? It is however quite an interesting read once I established a shaky foundation and I must say, all that talk about the universe was positively scintillating. I can see why you choose this for your light bedtime fare. My right eye hasn't stopped twitching for about half an hour now. Wonder how you never seem to have twitchy eyes.

Potter,

Return the rest of my textbook immediately.

Lily

Evans,

I do apologize for borrowing half of your textbook, but I was fairly serious when I said the subject matter interested me. And I left you the other half, at least. Didn't think you would object too strongly if I borrowed it again, because it is extracurricular reading after all. I happen to know that you're still only covering common household features in Muggle Studies... Remus was babbling on about outpulls or inlets or some such wall device as he slept last night. How was the quiz?

No doubt you had it under control. Aside from the fact that you're a Muggle and should therefore be completely incapable of achieving anything less than an O in Muggle Studies, you're Lily Evans. Fullstop. You are never not in control. You never have been. Aside from when silly ponces like me do outrageous things such as humiliate you in front of the entire school, that is.