Jily Oneshots (pt2)

I Love You (you do?)

by sunshinemarauder on archiveofourown.org

When Lily said it first, James Potter knew he was going to die of love right there.

For two years he'd imagined how he'd tell Lily Evans that he loved her. Following a romantic lakeside date, on the castle grounds during a snowy afternoon, laying in his bed holding her hand, or a thousand other options. In all of those daydreams, he'd been the one to say it first.

It wasn't that he didn't think she loved him- he hoped more than anything that she did. But James had been so certain that he loved Lily more than Lily loved him. Maybe it was because he was the more affectionate one, who gave out hugs and kisses like they were nothing. It could have been that he was eager and generous with his compliments, while Lily held them closer. Or maybe it was because he'd been infatuated by her for years longer than she had. It could have been any number of reasons, but somewhere deep down, James had thought that Lily didn't care about him as much as he cared about her.

That was why when she sprung the statement to him on a windy March afternoon, shocked was an understatement to describe how he felt.

It was his birthday - his eighteenth birthday, a coming-of-age in the Muggle world - and James and Lily were taking a stroll around the castle before dinner and the birthday party his mates planned for him in the Common Room. The conversation had been about everything and nothing at the same time. About the Marauders' last prank, leaving Hogwarts in June, NEWT exams, and the War. Everything and nothing.

Until suddenly, Lily stopped walking and wove her fingers through James's.

"James?"

"Yeah?" he said absently, fingers tracing over her knuckles.

"I love you."

He stopped stroking her hand and froze.

"What?"

She looked at him then, eyes crinkling with the look he'd come to realize was worry, and pulled her hand out of his. He immediately missed the contact.

"I- uh- you don't need to say it back, I just wanted you to know that I love you."

He was still staring at her, the sunset framing her fiery red hair, her green eyes peering from under soft lashes, her face an abstract portrait of everything she meant to him. She wouldn't meet his gaze, so he grasped her chin in his hand and gently lifted it to meet his eyes.

"I love you too," he murmured, stepping closer to her and winding an arm around her waist. "I was just surprised."

Lily frowned, finally meeting his gaze. "Why would you be surprised?"

James flushed. He didn't particularly want to tell her his insecurities about their relationship because it was so unlike him. He was the confident one, the one who nudged Lily to the next level. He was always sure about anything related to James and Lily. She was a little more reluctant. Sometimes he needed to prod her along to meet him where he was, and sometimes he had to fall behind to meet her where she was comfortable.

But Lily had just said I love you to him, so he figured he'd take the risk.

"Well, I always thought I'd say it first, and you would say you weren't ready. I dunno, I hoped that you loved me, but I didn't think that you would actually say it to me. I guess I- I always assumed you didn't love me."

Lily was staring at him like he was growing a mandrake out of his head. "Are you an idiot?"

James flinched. "Back to insults, are we?"