The Adventures of Nomi Darklighter

Chapter 33 - Home One

There was silence in the shuttle cockpit which was only illuminated by the eerie light of hyperspace.
Gavin cast from time to time sneaking looks at his sister's belly, where he saw a little bump. Triplets...he couldn't believe that his sister was carrying triplets. And what made it even worse, they were Force sensitive. The young man cursed inwardly. They were at war and Rendar had nothing else to do than to make his beloved sister a bunch of babies. He began to understand why Tarik didn't go along with the mercenary and his relationship to Nomi. But somehow he was also looking forward to his nephews.
When he looked over again, his sister had fallen asleep. Gavin sighed and made himself comfortable in the seat and closed his eyes to take a nap.

The siblings woke up by the signal indicating that they were about to fall back in real space. Gavin sat upright and pulled the lever. In a fraction of a minute the whirls of hyperspace resolved in the darkness of space. In front of them they saw the Mon Calamari cruiser Home One, Admiral Ackbar's flagship and her escort ships and fighters. Nomi's brother sent the proper codes after he was hailed.
"Ah, you are the Imperial shuttle which was announced by Commander Antilles. We were expecting you already, Sergeant Darklighter. Admiral Ackbar and General Madine are pleased to have it at their disposal," the response by hangar control came.
Gavin steered the shuttle towards the cruiser and minutes later he landed smoothly in the hangar bay. Nomi smiled as she saw the Aquarius standing in a far corner of the hangar, which was teeming with activity.
Gavin cut the engines, unbuckled and stood up to leave the ship. He looked over to his sister, who unbuckled and left her seat as well. Nomi walked over to the hatch, opened it and made her way down the ramp. The air she met was humid to accommodate the needs of the cruiser's crew. It wasn't what the pilot was used to, but she didn't mind it. Gavin followed her and put his arm around her waist.
"I will bring you to the quarters which are assigned to you," he said and walked her out of the hangar and through seemingly endless hallways. Finally they reached their destination. Gavin opened the door and made way for his sister to enter.

She looked around in the sparsely furnished room, while Gavin closed the door behind them.
With a sigh she sat down on one of the chairs standing at a small table and touched her belly where Dash's children were growing.
Her brother saw the subtle movement of her hand and frowned. He was torn between the joy of becoming an uncle and his anger about Dash. Finally the anger took the better of him and he was unable to hold back any longer.
"Why was Dash so irresponsible, Nomi? You both weren't even married and we're at war. Do you have any idea how to raise Force sensitive children? It would be difficult enough with one child but you will get three of them," he blurted, without pausing for breath.
Nomi stared at her brother. How could he dare to speak with her this way? What did he know?
"Kark, Gavin, it happened and I'm glad that it happened. The triplets will remind me of Dash. Being still wet behind the ears you're speaking about things you don't understand. What do you know about love?"
Her brother stood there and tried to respond, but the young woman was in full swing.
"I know what you want to say, but your little affairs can't be called love. If one of your relationships is lasting longer than one standard week we can speak about this topic again," she finished finally.
Gavin looked crestfallen and had no idea how to answer his sister's outburst. He felt hurt. Without a word he turned, opened the door and left.
As soon as the door shut with a hiss, Nomi regretted what she had just said.

Not long after her brother left there was a knock at Nomi's door. She stood up with a sigh, walked over to the door and opened it, to see Wedge Antilles standing there.
"Hello, Nomi, I have good news for you," he said with a smile and entered the quarters after the pilot made way for him.
He walked over to the small table and sat down on a chair, while Nomi closed the door.
"Good news?" She asked, while she sat down opposite of him.
"Oh yes, very good news. You are allowed to fly. Admiral Ackbar sees no reason to deny it to you any longer. He deems you stable enough and he is sure that you don't pose a threat to your comrades or yourself," the commander responded with a warm smile.
"These are indeed good news, Wedge," the young woman said and Wedge saw because of her expression how happy she was.
Maybe now was the right moment. He took her hand and looked in her eyes.
"There is something I always wanted to ask you, Nomi," he hesitated, since he was unsure if it was really the right moment, but then he carried on. "Have you ever thought about consorting with another man? It will be difficult to raise your Force sensitive children alone and there is the possibility that Vader is still after you because of them. Who will protect you and look after you?"
Nomi looked at him and wondered what he was up to. The Rogue Squadron commander was still holding her hand and she could tell that it wasn't as steady as at the yoke of his X-wing.
Antilles took a deep breath and gathered up his courage. He felt pretty unsure, since he did this never before.
"I love you, Nomi and I want to ask you if you will marry me," before Nomi could reply, he continued. "I would be a good father to your children and it wouldn't matter to me that they aren't my own flesh and blood. And who knows, maybe someday we will have a child in common."
He looked at the woman he loved expectantly, hoping that he hadn't gone too far.
Nomi was completely taken aback by what she just heard. Wedge had always been a good friend to her, but never a love interest of hers. She had never expected that he had more than amicable feelings for her. But she wasn't ready for a new relationship, maybe never would be.
She didn't want to hurt him, but there was no way around the truth. She swallowed hard before she replied.
"Wedge, I don't want to hurt you, but I don't want to marry you," she finally said with a gentle tone.
The man let go of her hand and looked at her with a sad and disappointed expression.
"Why not, Nomi? We get along very well," he said silently, feeling even more unsure now, after being spurned.
"You are a good and reliable friend, Wedge. In all the months in which we shared the rough and the smooth, you have become very valuable to me. But I can't love you, like I loved and still love Dash. Neither you nor I would grow happy, if I would become your wife under these premises. You would be always aware that I don't love you with all of my heart and that there will always be Dash's shadow. I don't think that you could accept this in the long term. Let's stay friends and comrades, Wedge. I am sure, one day you'll find a woman who will give you the love I can't give you."
The commander nodded his head and stood up.
"Maybe you are right about this, but no matter what happens, Nomi, I will always be there for you and your children," he replied with a sad undertone in his voice as he walked over to the door, opened it and left.

Nomi looked at the closed door and sighed. It wasn't a good day where she had hurt two of those people she liked the most.