The Adventures of Nomi Darklighter

Chapter 36 - Decisions

After a night where Nomi hadn't slept much, a quick shower and breakfast, she made her way to the simulator room. She still hadn't made up her mind in case of her relationship with Dash.

When she entered the room Wedge and her brother Gavin were there already. Gavin smiled at his big sister and gave her a thumbs up, while Wedge only inclined his head. The commander looked tired. Nomi wondered if it was because of Dash, the man who came back from the dead. The man, who wanted to resume their relationship after disappearing from her life on a whim.
She donned her helmet, climbed in the simulator, buckled up and closed the hatch. The smell in the confined capsule nearly turned her stomach, but she fought the upcoming nausea. Nomi took the yoke in a firm grip and her finger lingered over the fire button as she let her other hand dance over the console. It didn't take long and the simulation began. All the days before she did well and excelled in almost every training session, but this time it should be different.
Nomi was tired and absent-minded which caused her to make more mistakes than ever before. The signal that an enemy fighter had a lock on her became more and more intense, but she was unable to shake the TIE and was hit again.
She cursed under her breath and slammed her fist against the capsule wall.
"Hey, Sis, I doubt it's the simulator's fault," she heard her brother's voice in the headset.
"Shut up, Kiddo," was her only response, before she started the program again.

But she wasn't better than before. The alarm blared, Nomi cursed and the capsule shook violently simulating an impact. This time the Rogue Squadron pilot cursed loudly in every language she knew and this was a lot. Finally she pulled a lever, the program stopped and she unbuckled. After she had slammed her fist on the console, she opened the hatch, climbed out, removed her helmet and slammed it against the simulator. The helmet crashed onto the floor.
Gavin stared at his sister. He knew that she could be impulsive, but not to such a degree. Maybe it was caused by her pregnancy. He shrugged and picked up the helmet.
Wedge shook his head seeing Nomi's actions. The commander hadn't thought that Dash Rendar's return had such an impact on his pilot. It was about time to do something.

Nomi left the simulator room without a word after she pried the helmet out of her brother's hand. When she had reached her quarters, she typed in the password and the door opened. Maybe she should change the password. The young woman walked over to the table, poured a glass of water and downed it in one go, then she sat down and buried her head in her hands.
She had to come to a decision if it came to Dash and their relationship as soon as possible.

Several hours later Nomi heard a knock on the door and answered it. Her commander stood there and entered after she had made way for him. He didn't leave her time to say something.
"Just listen to me, Nomi, even if it is hard for you," he began and sat down without being asked to do so.
"I had a long talk with Dash and he told me everything, even about what happened last night. Somewhat I understand your reaction, Nomi. He had hurt you badly, but he regrets what he did to you," he swallowed hard before he continued to speak. "Dash still loves you with all of his heart."
Nomi sat down at Antilles' side. She was aware how hard it must be for him to speak on Dash's behalf, but he did it nevertheless.
"If you make your decision, keep in mind what you told me about your love for him. And you should think about the children you carry and that they need their father."
The young woman opened her mouth to say something, but her commander put his index finger at her lips.
"Psst, don't speak, just listen, ok?"
Nomi nodded her head.
"Dash Rendar isn't as reckless and irresponsible as he seems to be or rather as he makes us believe he is. During our talk in the night, he asked me if it would be possible to join the Alliance as a member. He saw how much it means to you and now he also wants to make a difference. You know how much independence meant to him, Nomi. This morning he had a meeting with General Madine where he asked to join. He was accepted. I think there can't be any greater proof of his love for you."
Wedge took a deep breath before he continued, since it wasn't easy for him. He still loved Nomi, but he had realized that he would never win her heart, that he would always be only a good friend for her.
"I ask you as your common friend don't turn Dash down if he comes to you. If you would do this he would leave and would never come back."
The commander stood up and turned to leave, since everything was said and done. It was now up to Nomi to decide about her actions.

The young woman jumped up and knocked over the chair she had sat on until now, as Antilles just opened the door to step out of her quarters.
"Wait, I come with you, Wedge," she said and ran towards the Rogue Squadron commander.
The young man smiled and together they made the short way to his quarters.
After he had opened the door he made way for Nomi so she could enter.
Dash Rendar sat at the table, his head buried in his hands and was dressed in an X-wing pilot's coverall. The former mercenary looked up when he heard the hiss of the door. There was no smile on his face, as he saw his fiancée. He wasn't even sure if Nomi was still his fiancée and he was afraid that she would break up with him.
The young woman approached the love of her life slowly and didn't notice that Wedge had closed the door staying outside. Her heart was pounding like mad.
"Hello, Dash," she said silently. "You said I should come to you when I made my decision."
Rendar nodded his head and looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to continue to speak.
Nomi took a deep breath and smiled at Dash.
"I want to share my life with you. In joining the Alliance you have proven to me that you are ready to take responsibility for others. That you aren't egoistic, that you care for others."
Dash was in a fraction of a second all smiles as he heard Nomi's words and stood up to take her in his arms.
This time she didn't push him back, like she did the night before. This time she gave in to his embrace. Dash held her tight and kissed her tenderly. Then he let go of her and carefully touched the little bump of her belly where his sons were growing and smiled, when he felt them moving. His own flesh and blood, his sons.
"I will be a good father to them, Honey," he said and gave his fiancée another kiss.

The door opened with a hiss and Wedge Antilles entered. Seeing the happy couple he knew that he had done right. The commander cleared his throat to make the two aware of his presence.
Both turned their heads and smiled at him.
"I'm sorry to interrupt, but I need my quarters," he said and walked over to his desk.
Dash Rendar chuckled and took Nomi's hand, pulling her to the door.
Shortly after the door closed behind them and they made their way to Nomi's quarters.