Under The Influence: N 2 Deep

9. Wheels Fall Off

Shawnie's POV  

Chris pulled up in his matte army green Bentley truck, 15 minutes after we got off the phone. He got out and helped me put the kids in the car and strapped him in, then he got the couple of bags that I have for them and put them in his car. I had absolutely nothing for me. I just grabbed some of their things, I can just get whatever else I need.

"You don't have to tell me everything right now, but I do want to know why are you leaving your car there?" He asks

"Because he has trackers on all of his cars and I don't want him to know where I'm going."

He nods his head. "So where are we going?"

"SLS Hotel. I know you have a party going on and thank you for leaving in the middle of it, but you know I didn't have anybody else to call." I say

"It's all good. I still feel like you're my responsibility. I know you're married and everything but if I'm being honest, I still feel that way. Especially since you're back in LA now."

"I'm not back in LA."

"You know what I mean. Since you're here, visiting for an undetermined amount of time." he laughs using air quotes, "I still feel like I gotta look out for you. And I know I told you this before but I don't care if we're together or not. You have my daughter, so I'm still gonna drop everything if you need me.... And you sound like you needed me so, I'm here."

"I appreciate you so much. You can easily just be like fuck me but you're not and I appreciate that."

"Fa sho! You know I'm rockin with you. Til the wheels fall off..."

I smile. "Our relationship ended a long time ago and I am glad that I can still say you're a really good friend to me. I never wanted our friendship to die because our relationship was over. You've always been a good friend to me." I say

"It's the same for you. We just don't work out as a couple." He says, "...although I think both of us are in different stages of our lives right now and we're more aware of ourselves and I think a relationship between us would actually work now but... We don't need to get into all of that." He smiles, looking over at me.

I just smiled. I think he's right though. We both think differently and I see how he is with Diamond and it definitely feels like he's changed but that's a road we can never go down again because I'm married now.

"....True." I say under my breath, but I think he heard me because he looked over at me. He didn't say anything though.

"So are you okay..." He asks

I take a deep breath and then I'll let it out. "Yeah. I'm fine it's just that I feel like I've dated the same man all of my life and I've known it but... I still ended up marrying him."

"Is he cheating on you?" He asks

"No. He's not cheating or anything, it's just mentally, you guys are all the same. I've never had issues with him cheating and from my understanding he's never talked to anyone else since he's known me which I feel like that's a complete lie but, whatever. I never hear anything other than he loves me and really wants to be with me. The main thing is his jealousy. He does things and he says things that are... Just... Inexcusable. I know he's trying but my problem is since I know he's trying and I always give him the benefit of the doubt and I always fold because I know he doesn't want to be this way. Shit is just eating away at him and it's overwhelming for him." I explain