Under The Influence: N 2 Deep

22. Warm Embrace

Shawnie's POV

I was laying on Chris's chest, in his arms. This was nice but I needed to go. Joe was outside waiting for me and I forgot, I have a whole husband that's literally going to kill me if he knew what went on tonight. I am such a horrible wife.

"I have to go." I say, trying to sit up but he tightens his grip around me.

"No, I don't want you to go. I want you to stay the night with me. Stay in my arms."

"You know I can't do that." I say

"We just made love—we haven't done that in so long. I just want you to stay like this." Chris says

"Chris, I'm sorry but I have to leave. I told Aubrey I would call him once I left here. He knows where I am. Plus, Joe is waiting outside. He's been waiting long enough I don't wanna keep him out there any longer."

"We need to talk about your marriage." He says

I sigh. "Chris, I'm not leaving him."

"But I think we should give things another try." He kisses me on my forehead. "Just once."

"I can't just give things another try with you. I'm married. It's not like I can just break up with him and go back to you. It's a different situation now." I say. "I'm not willing to go through that process when all I have to do is leave you alone. We may have our issues but in my opinion I feel like we can fix them and be better than what we are."

He sighs, and tightens his grip around me again. "I just can't. You don't know how much I crave this. You don't know how much I miss you and having you here in my bed with me right now it's just solidified my feelings. I cannot just let us go. You can't make love to me like that, then just leave me here alone." He says

"Chris—-."

"No, because y'all are having issues and you're having second thoughts about your marriage. I know you're unhappy and I know you don't want to be with him. Why do you want to stay with him? Just leave him because you know you want to be with me and it's almost like you're only with him to continue to punish me. I get it. You can stop punishing me now."

"Everything was fine before that incident. I don't like a lot of things but I understand why he does them. I'm not punishing you, this is what I want."

"I'm not feeling it. I get what you're saying but nobody told your ass to go off and marry him. You did that shit to get to me and you're making excuses for him, which is pissing me off even more." He snaps

I sit up and look at him. "I didn't do it to get to you. That's your problem, you think everything I do that you don't like stems from me trying to get back at you." I climb off of the bed. "You don't know my relationship with him. I married him because I wanted to. I married him because we decided that that's what we wanted to do." I start looking for my panties and my bra.

"Aight." He runs his hands over his face. "I don't wanna fight about this. I am just very passionate about what I feel and you know me, I'm very passionate about you. I'm very protective of you and you know I love you to fucking death and I will kill any motherfucker that tries to fuck that up."

"So now you're threatening to kill my husband?" I slip on my underwear.

"It's just a figure of speech." He rolls his eyes, "I understand everything you're saying, I just don't want to, never wanted to. I told you I feel like you're the only person that deserves my loyalty, and my respect, and my faithfulness. I just wanna give you what I should've given you from the beginning. So the fact that you're not allowing me to do that, is getting to me because I thought that we were kind of on that path."