Under The Influence: N 2 Deep

36. Show It

Chris POV

It's been a crazy few days for me. Diamond had our baby girl, Love, and I have been trying to help her the best way that I can. I'm currently preparing for my upcoming tour and things are just all over the place for me right now. I go over to her house and help her as much as I can, of course along with her family and some of her friends but right now it's just a sketchy time because it seems like everyone is watching me right now.

Diamond and I decided from the beginning of the pregnancy that we weren't going to say anything about it and we were going to keep it very private for the sake of her peace. She announced she was pregnant but of course didn't say by whom a lot of my fans suspected that I am the father but we never confirmed anything. So the fact that she has had the baby, a lot of people are watching my moves. I've been trying to be very calculated with how I move because we said we weren't going to announce that I was the father until Love was at least three months old.

My upcoming tour, One Of Them Ones, is turning out to be a huge deal. I announced that I was going to go on tour but now I'm kind of getting a lot of shit because I haven't dropped my album yet. So I've been going back-and-forth with the label about various things, especially a release date. I'm having back-to-back meetings and exactly like I said, things are crazy right now.

In the midst of everything going haywire right now, I have been trying to maintain my relationship with Jasmine. I said I was going to try to take us seriously and that's exactly what I've been trying to do but she knows I have other things that I need to tend to as well.

Jasmine is a good girl and I almost feel bad that I got her mixed up in my world of craziness and baby mamas, and shit. I've really been trying to stay faithful to her the best way that I can but I think everyone knows my feelings now. I still feel how I feel about the Shawnie situation and I still 100% feel that she is the only one that deserves the person that I am now. Shawnie and I had a talk about this and I feel what she's saying but I also know how she feels and I know she's only trying to work on her shit and not feel guilty because I'm not.

So I thought it would be cool if I took Jasmine out on a little date and even though we're not official, I think this will appease her for the moment. I know that's not the right thing to do because it kind of feels like I'm stringing her along when I don't really want anything with her but the truth is, I do want something with her, it's just that I'm not ready for that yet because I feel like I'm not 100% over my ex fiancé. 

We went to a restaurant in LA. Of course it was a bunch of paparazzi all over the place and taking pictures of us and I was a little nervous because even though I kind of had her permission, I still didn't want her to see photos of me with  another woman but that was just something I'll have to deal with when we get to that bridge.

We sat down at the table and I looked at her. She looked genuinely happy. This is something that we don't do often. As a matter of fact, the one and only time we were actually out in public was when I took her to Vegas. Just as fast as people thought we were in a relationship, they thought we were out of the relationship because they never saw her again. So it kind of made me smile that she was happy.

"You look very happy tonight." I say

"Because I am. You have been running around trying to get this album together and rehearsals for the tour and everything like crazy. I'm happy you took time out of your busy schedule to take me out to dinner and make me feel special." She says

"Well I'm happy that you feel special. With Diamond just having the baby and everything I got going on, I felt like you were kind to get in the worst of it because I'm being pulled in all these different directions and you are just letting me live my life and do what I gotta do. I kinda wanna say thank you for that because you don't pressure me into doing anything and I know sometimes I may overreact but you always forgive me and tell me that everything is okay and I appreciate that."