Under The Influence: N 2 Deep

30. With You

Shawnie's POV

After we left Chris' house we went to the hotel. I put Atlas in bed and got ready for bed as well. I was super uneasy about the whole confrontation. I felt like Aubrey was following me or like he had a tracker on the car. Joe said there was no tracker but I'm so traumatized from some of the things that's gone on in this relationship, I was super paranoid now. I felt like I was constantly looking over my shoulder. Like he was going to pop up at any second.

Joe knocked on my door and I jumped. My heart was racing. He scared the shit out of me. I took a second to gather myself and speak.

"It's open." I say

He walks in. "Are you okay?"

"Um, yeah..."

"Are you sure? Do you need anything?" He asks

"Can you double bolt the door, make sure it's locked just in case he gets a key."

"I did but I can double check. Are you sure you're okay?" He asks.

I sigh, "I feel like he knows where I am, which he probably does because I've had this room for a while now. I feel like he's going to pop up here and cause a lot of shit and honestly, I'm terrified. The fact that you two got into it and I just feel like things are going to be worse from now on."

"Everything is going to be fine as long as I'm here. Try to get some rest. I'll sleep on the sofa in the living room so if the door does open I'll hear it." He says

"Okay. Thank you."

He smiles as he closes the door.

After almost an hour of me trying to go to sleep with no luck, I grabbed my purse that was sitting on the nightstand and I pulled out a blunt I got from Chris. I grab my lighter and go into the living room.

"What's wrong?" Joe pops up from the sofa.

I laugh, "Nothing, I can't sleep, this helps. You want to sit out on the balcony with me?"

"Yeah." He follows me outside and we take a seat on the lounge chairs.

I light up and take a few hits, then try to pass it to him."

"Nah, I'm good. I don't smoke." He says

"Oh okay. My bad." I say

For some reason, my mind fell to when I was living in Chicago before I met Chris.

"Funny, I didn't either... not until I met Chris. He smoked all the time and every now and then I would take a hit but never like this. I will sit here and smoke a whole blunt by myself now." I laugh at myself.

"Do you do anything else?"

"No. Just weed. After seeing everything Chris has gone through with a different type of drugs that he's used, I'm pretty much turned off from anything else. I'm actually scared to do anything else. It was one time I took a couple of hits of a blunt that he had but it was laced with fentanyl and it was just a horrible experience."

"What happened?" He asks with concern on his face.

"It wasn't a horrible experience because anything happened, it's just that I don't know what happened. He gave it to me and I didn't know what it was, I thought it was just regular weed. He told me the next day that it had fentanyl but I had literally slept like 12 hours and I just didn't like the feeling."

"Did he do it on purpose?" He asks

"He did it on purpose and I was so pissed off about that because I later found out that when it happened I was pregnant, but of course I didn't know. He was under the influence of whatever but I forgave him because he wasn't in his right mind and Gen was healthy."