Under The Influence: N 2 Deep

79. I Could Never Pt. 1

FYI, this is a longer chapter, 4700 words. As we get closer to the end I've been making them longer and not on purpose. Lol I'm never going to go over 5000 words.

Also, I appreciate you guys sticking with me for this long and this rollercoaster for basically 3 whole books (possibly a 4th). I love y'all.

And it's that time again for me to ask y'all what questions you wanna ask Shawnie FROM A FANS PERSPECTIVE. I said I wasn't but there's an interview and I wanna answer y'all's questions. So DM me if you have any. Anyways...

Vote and comment!!!
Thanks for reading!! ♥️
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Shawnie's POV

"Hey!" I say to my cousin, walking into the kitchen and sitting my things on the island.

"I need to talk to you about something." She says with a serious face.

"What? Is my Dad okay?" I start to panic.

"Yeah, uncle Steve is fine. I need to talk to you about you ."

"Oh..." I walk over to the freezer and pull out a fresh bottle of Proper Twelve. I pop it open and take a swig.

"How much do you drink daily?" She asks. It catches me off guard.

"What do you mean how much do I drink daily?"

"I'm asking. How much do you drink daily because it seems like you've been drinking an awful lot." She says

"I'm not drinking that much." I say with a frown.

"Have you had a drink today?"

"No, this is my first time." I answer

"How many bottles of wine do you drink a day?"

"Maybe two....or three..."

"Okay, so two or three bottles of wine a day, and how much of whatever else you drink?"

"Just a couple of shots."

"Okay and this is your first time drinking today?" She says

"Yes. Why are you asking?"

She looks at her watch. "Because I don't believe you."

"So what are you trying to do, monitor my drinking now?" I say, giving attitude.

"Shawnie, I'm worried about you." She says. "Dori and I had a talk and—."

"You and Dori?" I question her. "What the fuck do you mean? You and Dori been talking about me?"

"We haven't been talking behind your back. We are just worried about you."

For some reason that pisses me off and I snap.

"You bitches keep asking me if I'm okay. I tell you multiple times a day that I am fine. Fucking believe me."

"But we know you're not. And it's okay if you're not. I just want to know how to help." She says

I just look at her.

".....Listen Mercedes, I know I've been drinking a lot and I am fully aware of what I'm doing. I really am. I assure you I'm trying to help myself. I'm trying to cut down." I say honestly. I know about my drinking and I've even addressed it with Dr. Jones. I'm working on it.

"But why?"

"It's just a lot of Aubrey stuff that's going on. The divorce is stressing me out." I just threw out an excuse. It's the truth though, it really is.

"But you guys are divorced, you really shouldn't be dealing with him for any other reason besides Atlas."

"You're right...and I'm not... Well, I have, but I'm not anymore." I say