Under The Influence: N 2 Deep

78. Hours In Silence

Shawnie's POV

Aubrey: I miss you already. I need for you to take me up on that arrangement.

Me: ??

Aubrey: You know what I'm talking about. Come sit on my face.

I laugh, then reply back to him.

Me: lol you miss me?

Aubrey: Yes. Ain't nobody told you to do me like that. After last night I need it again. You don't understand how horny I am right now and I want YOU. I don't want nobody else, Mami.

Me: Okay so I'm not going to go through with that arrangement but I'll entertain this one more time.

Aubrey: We can talk more about that later. Bring the kids and I'll plan for Christina to be with them for a couple hours.

I just stare at the phone for a few seconds. It's been a minute since he called and I ran to him. It's a hard decision. I know I need to do this, but only for selfish reasons. I don't wanna be with him. I'm standing very firm in that. I know I definitely need to end things for good. This agreement, or arrangement or whatever...A physical relationship with him is not healthy and I'm actually very proud of myself because I have gone so long without any physical contact with him, up until last night. So now, after talking to Dr. Jones, I think I want to do this, but only to get it out of my system for good. I'm going in knowing that this is it, and I'm going to stand firm in this as well. I know he's said one last time multiple times but I don't think I ever have and this is gonna be the last time. I'm confident in that.

Me: Give me some time but I'll be over. I would rather have the kids stay here.

Aubrey: I would like it for you to bring them. I miss them too. I want to spend time together like we used to. Maybe grab something to eat or something. I also want us to talk for real. I got your favorite rosé Dom.

Me: We'll see.

I put my phone down next to me.

I hope this goes well. The visit and the conversation. I know how he can get, so I'm hoping everything goes as planned.

I went and found the kids. They were playing with Lexi.

"Hey, I'm going to take the kids to Aubrey's house. Can you get them ready?"

"Sure." She says.

"And when you're done, you can have the rest of the day."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. We may be over for a while and I don't want to hold you up."

"I appreciate you letting me off." She smiles and leaves to go get them dressed.

As I sat down at the island, I began to feel a little anxiety. I don't know why, but I get anxious sometimes when I call Chris. Especially now that I know he's in a relationship. I feel like I'm tiptoeing around because I don't want anyone to be upset with me for anything that may or may not happen. It's draining.

"What's up?" He answers

"Do you mind if I take Gen over to Aubrey's house? He wants to see her."

"....Yeah, it's cool."

"Are you sure?" I ask

"Yes. It's fine. What's going on with that?"

"Nothing. He wants to spend some time with them." I say

"And you..."

"Yeah, he wants to see me too."

"Anything I should know about?" He asks