Under The Influence: N 2 Deep

23. Desires

Shawnie's POV

When we pulled up to my house I felt super overwhelmed with anxiety. It became super hard for me to breathe. I felt like the air was thick, my throat was closing up and I wasn't getting enough oxygen. Joe looked over at me and he noticed I was having a hard time. He grabbed my hand and placed his other hand on my back rubbing in small circles.

"It's okay." He says

"No you don't understand what I'm about to walk into." I say trying to calm myself down.

"Tell me."

"Aubrey is going to be so mad at me." I say, disappointed in myself.

"All you can do is talk to him. If he doesn't like it then oh well, you were honest...that's all you can do. I ask you a question?"

"Yes, what?"

"I read something recently and I want to know if there's any truth to it because if it is, we can leave right now...but do you guys get into physical fights?"

"No. It's nothing like that. That was a rumor."

"...okay." He says, looking like he's on deep thought.

"I just don't want to hurt him and this is gonna kill him. Sometimes I just don't like the way he treats me when he's upset. I don't want to go through that again."

"Well if you need me all you gotta do is yell. When we get inside, just sit down and have a talk with him. He's your husband, he's gonna hear you out."

"Maybe, but you don't know him." I say

"I may not know him, but I've heard about him. I've heard stories about Drake. I don't think he would be that way towards you. He loves you. He wouldn't hurt you."

We were interrupted by the car door opening, on my side. Joe quickly removed his hands from me.

"What's wrong baby?" He says, taking off my seatbelt.

"Come on, I have to talk to you." I say to him and I take a couple of steps but then I turn around and see he's eying Joe.

"Joe didn't do anything. Come on." I hold my hand out towards him and he takes it.

We walk inside and I'm holding back tears. My marriage is over. I just know it is. Aubrey is about to lose his shit.

We go into the bedroom and he closes the door behind me. I walk over and take a seat on the bed.

"Talk to me." As soon as he says that I just burst out in tears. "Mami? What's wrong?" He rushes over to me and puts his arms around me.

"I'm so sorry, Aubrey." I say crying.

"Why are you sorry?" I looked at him then he looked at me with confusion on his face, then his facial expression changed. "Answer me."

"I messed up..."

He takes a step back, like he already knew. "Messed up how, Shawnie? What are you trying to say to me right now?"

"...I had sex with Chris." I whisper, trying to contain myself. I hated this. I hate having to tell him what I did.

He steps back again.

"I knew it." He says, "I already knew this shit was gonna happen.... This is the exact reason why I didn't want to come here..."

"I'm sorry, Aubrey. You don't know how sorry I am..."

"You..." He laughs but I know there's nothing funny. He's probably laughing to keep from losing his cool. "Shawnie....I told you I didn't cheat on you."