Under The Influence: N 2 Deep

104. Free Smoke - The Interview Pt. 1

Shawnie's POV

I was standing in the mirror, trying to fix my clothes. I kept readjusting the skirt because it just wasn't fitting properly. Was I gaining weight? What the fuck. I guess that could be an explanation. Another reason could be the fact that Joe has been fucking me so good and spreading my hips so wide that they are expanding. But knowing that it's been scientifically proven that there's no connection between spreading hips and sex, I settled on the conclusion that I'm just gaining weight.

All of this doesn't help that I was super nervous about this interview. I don't know why it's just like two friends talking. Jason, he's my friend. We know each other personally and we talk and text back-and-forth. I don't know why I'm nervous. I was also having flashbacks of when I was on the Wendy Williams show, and did the interview with her, which was a complete disaster and had a lot of backlash afterwards. I know this isn't the same situation and it's definitely not the same interview.

I told myself that I was going to be as real as possible, but try to keep the drama to a minimum. I'm not even gonna say my ex husband's name because I simply don't want to. What I don't want to do is upset him for him to start a whole other media frenzy with me. I've been trying to lay low and keep my privacy and most of all keep my peace.

I hear Joe walk into the room and close the door behind him. I didn't look at him, but I could see he was watching me fiddle with this skirt.

"Are you okay?" He asks

"No, this skirt is really working my nerves." I turn my body to face him. "Am I gaining weight?"

"Doesn't seem like it." He says

"This isn't fitting properly and I'm so frustrated because I know my size. So I'm clearly gaining weight, you're just being nice."

"Even if you were, you're still beautiful, Love." He says

"But not in this skirt..." I take it off and I slip on some pants that match with the blouse as well. "How does this look?"

"I don't think I'm the person to ask because I think you look good in everything, Shawnie. I probably won't be much help." He smirks

"I appreciate the compliment but I need to find something to wear." I turn around to start going through more clothes on the rack.

"Styling yourself?"

"Yes. Olivia had them send over clothes that I could pick from..." He steps closer to me and puts his hands on my hips and turns me around. "Stop stressing. You're fine and you look fine."

Amanda walked in.

"I guess I'm just nervous because I don't want it to turn out like the other interview." I say

"It won't because I'm here." Amanda says, putting her things down on the table.

"Right. You're also in a completely different mindset from back then. It's not gonna turn out that way because you're not in the same space. You were still hurting and you wanted to hurt people. But you're not there anymore, am I right or am I wrong?"

"You're right." I say

"You're going to be honest, but you're going to protect your image as well." He says

"And anything that's not meant to be shared, I will stop you." Amanda says. "Ill also stop any questions that shouldn't be allowed." She says

"...and you're not gonna badmouth anyone. Just listen to your publicist." Joe says

I take a deep breath and I let it out. I do have to stop stressing. He's right, I am not there anymore.

I put my arms around his neck. "Thank you." I go in to kiss him, but he pulls back.