Under The Influence: N 2 Deep

105. Free Smoke - The Interview Pt. 2

Shawnie's POV

"I was focused on being pregnant and trying not to have my baby on a tour bus." I laugh. "So this is something that no one knows....before Chris went into rehab he wanted to talk to Aubrey because I was very pregnant and he was going away and he didn't want him in his bullshit antics and send me into labor early."

"What was the conversation about?"

"Basically we told him we were gonna sue him if he continued to harass us, but that quickly turned into a conversation that I was kicked out of and I don't know what happened in that hotel room.... Well, I do know." I smile

"What?"

"They got into it." I say

"Physically?"

"I believe so. Chris never told me what happened. But the very next day he sent a file to me and it was that Lie To Me song."

"Did you listen to it?" He asks

"Yeah, I listened to it but right after I was done I just reblocked him on everything. I knew he was hurt, but I also thought maybe Chris didn't get through to him because we didn't have any conversation. It was just no communication and he didn't say anything. He just sent the file and honestly, I just know that is his way of expressing himself, so I didn't feel like he needed a response from me so I just blocked him."

"So that ended communication until when you guys met up in Chicago?" He asks

"Actually, no. While Chris was in rehab, he actually wanted me to talk to him because he... I guess he was thinking a little bit more clearly...I don't know. Maybe because he was in a lot of therapy and talked a lot of things out, so maybe he wanted us to talk it out I don't know." I laugh. "But he wanted me to talk to him and just have a real conversation. I wasn't okay with it at first because I knew how he felt about me, but I just did it because he asked me to. And on the way there a lot of things that I wanted to say started to come to surface." I explain. "My thought process was to end whatever residual feelings he had for me, and to give him the opportunity to say whatever he felt he needed to say to me because when I left, I had no plans on ever speaking to him, or seeing him again in my life."

"So how did that go?"

"It went.... " I chuckle reflecting on the time we spent together. "The time that Aubrey and I spent together was good times. When I broke up with Chris, we had the opportunity to really get to know each other and that's what we did. We got close. He knew Chris and I could get back together and we had plenty of conversations about it. Our friendship was a good friendship that turned somewhat romantic, but I knew in the back of my mind that it could never happen, because I was very focused on Chris. As much as I liked Aubrey, I just couldn't do that to Chris. So in Toronto, the conversation between Aubrey and I was me telling him that I loved him but it's not going to go anywhere and that I needed him to stop all the BS and forget about me because I was about to be engaged to Chris and I wasn't going to let him mess it up."

"But don't you think telling him you loved him would have the opposite effect."

"No, because he knew. But our situation wasn't going to go anywhere and the reason I was there was to end it for good."

"So how did he take it?"

"Overall, he was upset about it, but he understood. I told him not to contact me unless he was dying and I left."

"So then how did he end up in Chicago with his tongue down your throat in the middle of Tao?"

"There's a lot of things that happened in between that time. So yeah, it had been months that I hadn't talked to him but that's when Chris' ex came in to play. She contacted Aubrey to get to us and that opened the door for me to have to communicate with Aubrey because I needed to get information on that situation, so that's what started it all. The conversation wasn't about us, it was about that situation and Chris was okay with that because he was home and he could see everything that was going on." I explain