𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐃𝐈𝐃 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌? | 𝐚𝐤𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐢

𝗼𝗻𝗲𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘁: 𝗸𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗻 𝗲𝗱𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻

her birthday is february 20th <3

warning: friends to lovers type beat, kissing, some alcohol, kind of a gay crisis tbh

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Usually Konan would sooth you when you were having boy troubles; talk you through it, remind you that men were trash and that you were out of their league. You didn't know when she first made that face, the one she was making right now. As if she had smelled something sour, lips pursed and eyes narrowed. Had she always made that face when you talked about this kind of stuff?

Crying your eyes out and eating ice cream out of the pint was almost a regular occurrence, and Konan always handled the emotional onslaught of your instability quite well. Maybe it was just too much for her now, maybe you had made her upset. 

"What?" You sniffled, shoving another spoon of ice cream into your mouth. Why was she looking at you like that? She knew how much of a mess you were. That's really how you two became friends in the first place isn't it? 

It was right after you moved to the city for a job opportunity, in an unfamiliar place with no friends. It was hard, and Konan was in the same boat. She was your very first friend, always kind and helpful, listening when you needed her and being the shoulder you could cry on. You tried your best to do the same, but it seemed like Konan had more control of her emotions anyways, so she didn't let life deter her the same way you did. 

Her emotional strength was something you admired really, the ability to keep pushing forward instead of collapsing into your sheets and binging an old romance movie. She just seemed to have everything figured out, she always reached for her goals, always getting over any obstacle in her way. 

Maybe she had outgrown you, gotten tired of your silly flings and nights-in where you talked about all the work drama she hadn't yet heard. 

Maybe she was tired of being your friend. 

"Nothing, just.." Her voice snapped you out of your depressing reverie, handing you a tissue and watching you quietly for a moment. Then, she sighed, low and soft, before turning to you on the couch. 

"Have you ever thought all these guys just.. aren't right for you?" 

Your brows furrowed, looking at her gaze, confused by the inquisitive gleam. What did she mean? All the guys you went after were smart, charming, chivalrous. Sure, they were unique, had their own flaws and differences in personality and looks, but they were never guys you wouldn't point out to her. 

Have you ever pointed out a guy to Konan? 

Konan never talked about relationships, never gave any guy the time of day when they'd approach her, whether you two were at a cafe or a bar. She was never interested. Why hadn't she tried to find love at this point? Not that it was necessary, but everyone craves loves at some point, companionship, right? 

She was beautiful, soft dyed hair, smooth perfect skin. She always smelled sweet, like hot caramel. Her style was impeccable, always put together, professional, casual, whatever the occasion. And her mind was absolutely stunning. If there was anyone on this earth you would call a genius, it would be her. Besides that, she was kind, compassionate. She was soft, like cold grass on a sunny day, or like the puffy clouds strolling across an evening sky. Konan made you think no man could ever compare to her, that no one could ever meet the standard she'd set as your friend. 

Always taking care of you, taking your heels off when you crash at her place, drunk. Or helping you cut your hair for the first time, terrified it would look horrible. Or after every breakup, brining you flowers, and your favorite ice cream. 

It didn't help that she always looked at you, in such a lovely way, that your heart raced when she smiled at you. Maybe it was her perfect teeth, or her plump lips, but everything about Konan was just, perfect. It made you want to be just like her, to remain at her side and learn everything you could, to grow just as she had. 

Nothing compared to her warmth. No one compared to her. 

"I just think.. maybe you.. don't actually like guys?" 

For a moment you stared at her, eyes owlishly large, spoon hanging out of your mouth. What was she talking about? Of course you liked guys!

They were.. tall and nice? And you thought a lot of guys were cute, so you had to like them, right? "That doesn't make any sense Konan, I've liked guys my whole life." 

"No, you've only gone after guys your whole life. Maybe you should take a break? Find out a little more about yourself before dating again?" She quirked a brow, observing your gaping expression. Your shoulder sunk, heavy, as you slumped back into the couch, realizing she was probably right. 

Every few weeks was another guy you were determined to fall in love with, and it just never seemed to work. Now that you think about it, you never did get those butterflies that the movies always talked about. Never dreamt of a future with them, or felt comfortable doing more than a little making out. You just always chalked it up to you being not ready, needing more time to get to know them. 

Maybe the guy you dated for almost three months realized it before you did, when he broke it off, saying something along the lines of- you don't actually like me, you like the idea of being with me. 

Maybe you were the reason all your relationships failed. 

Looking at Konan now, her worried gaze, hand gently resting on your knee, wearing one of your hoodies you'd let her borrow a long time ago, everything seemed to click. 

Of course, how didn't you notice? It was Konan, it was always Konan. 

You remember the coil that would twist in your stomach seeing guys and girls flirt with her, sending taunting smiles over your shoulder as they left. Were you blindsided to the fact that you were in love with her? That she was all you thought about, all day every day. Missing her on rainy days, or wanting to go on a picnic or watch the stars with her. It all seemed like friendship, but when you itched to reach out and take her hand in yours, to press a kiss to her lips, you knew it wasn't any longer. 

Irrationally thinking, you sat forward on your knees, abandoning the now empty carton of ice cream to the side. "Konan, would you let me try something? To see if I really don't like men?" 

Her face flushed, a pretty pink, and she swallowed and nodded, eyes fluttering shut as you neared. Pressing your lips against hers made butterflies erupt in your stomach, just like the movies said. You couldn't bring yourself to pull away, molding your lips against hers and holding your breath for as long as you could. 

When you finally pulled away, the second you caught your breath you were eager to dive back in again, to capture her soft lips into a kiss you never wanted to end. 

"Wait," she was panting too, face still flushed, lips pink. You already wanted to kiss her again. "I need you to know that I have feelings for you if you want to do this. It would be wrong to kiss you without you knowing that." 

A smile rose to your face without your control, and you nearly leapt forward, pulling her into another bruising kiss. This time, when you pulled away you wrapped your arms around her neck, holding her close. 

"I think I've been in love with you for a while. You're what I want." 

Konan smiled, that pretty, perfect smile, that made your heart race. This time, she leaned in, teasing you as she brushed her lips against yours. 

"Let's talk about this more later. Can we keep kissing for now?"

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