"Would You Love Me Now?" A RJ Mpreg AU

You twisted your words like a knife

A/N: Ricky is 3 months and 1 week pregnant here and hides his belly with XXL hoodies. I'm sorry if it's hard to keep track of time skips

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Ricky's POV:

It's May 14th and I'm about to do the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.

I'm going to breakup with the love of my life.

Our 'break' has caused me to have more depressive episodes than I've ever had before.

I don't know how long our break has been but I'm sure that EJ thinks that I am a freak and didn't want to say it to my face in his trailer.

I should've just broken up with him when I saw that he commented on Anastasia's award nominee post on Instagram.

I am an idiot for sleeping with him.

I may seem fine on paper or at work but inside I'm slowly crack like an over cooked boiled egg.

Bad metaphor, I know.

I'm better at song writing than making up similes and metaphors.

And to top it all off, I'm 3 months pregnant.

The stress and depression while waiting for E.J to call me for an answer is not good for the baby at all.

My doctor told me that I could lose the baby if I don't take care of my mental health.

I don't want to lose the baby.

Everyday I love him or her more than I love myself.

I've learned to appreciate my support system.

Nini said that she's going to talk to her friend, Val to help me find a therapist since I don't want to talk to E.J's cousin.

My dad keeps driving down to check on me on weekends when he's not on dates or working.

His boyfriend, Mr. Mazarra sends me prenatal vitamins in the mail to take.

Gina always makes time to call me when I need someone to talk to.

My Hot topic, co-worker Howie knows that I'm pregnant because he lifts boxes for me in the store now.

Kourtney, Nini's friend, makes sure that I don't drink alcohol when we go to restraunts.

And Big Red is always there for me, even though he's scared that I'll go in labor when he's around me.

"'Cause I can't help but think of all things that I would say." I wipe my tears as I drive pass the Pasadena highway sign on my way to LA.

Nini knows that I left Pasadena for the weekend.

I told her about the "would you love me now?" voicemail I left for him.

I'll get a hotel room or motel room after I leave his apartment.

If I can't show up on his set, I'm going to his apartment to break up with him.

It's not right to break up over the phone and I left him a voicemail to tell him that I was coming but he never responded to me.

I also have worse morning and afternoon sickness now that I'm 3 months along but this is a trip I have to make for my mental health and for the baby.

"Okay, your okay. Just take a deep breathe." I finally drive down an LA street and start crying while driving and talking to myself.

I should've done this weeks ago.