"Would You Love Me Now?" A RJ Mpreg AU

After all that you did, I won't admit it's you I miss

A/N: Ricky is 4 months and 3 weeks along. Almost 5 months.

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Ricky's POV:

I finally went to my therapist this week.

I told her about how much I miss E.J and how scared I am about being a male and pregnant.

I told her about how I lashed out at Gina and Nini the other week for no reason and locked myself in the bathroom.

I told her about how E.J is an asshole.

I don't even want to think about what he did and admitted it.

I miss him too much to admit that he's a cheater.

I've been taking up more Hot Topic mall shifts since my music school job with Nini isn't really doing much savings-wise.

I am saving up for an apartment in the same building as Nini so that the baby has a place to grow and live instead of just staying in my bedroom all the time.

I want her to have a proper nursery and a place to play and learn.

I want her to have her own space instead of sharing space with Nini and we won't be able to sleep if her bassinet is just right next to my bed.

She needs a nursery and a place to be with me.

I would move back with my dad but he's on his own path now and I'm pretty sure he wants to get remarried or something like all that fancy wedding vow stuff.

I don't really know what he's up to.

"Hey Ricky, are you going to be okay here alone until Gina comes? I have to head to Just For a Melody to train Seb and Carlos before they start." I see Nini pop into my room and look at my messy bed that's full of baby things I'm trying to figure out what to do with it until I have storage.

I don't have much for her yet.

Just the things my friends and I got from that cute boutique and a bunch of sonogram photos that I asked my doctor to have printed out.

"Yes, Nini, I am fine. I promised Gina that I would apologize to her for lashing out at her with my mood swings. I am going to do it myself. Go see Seb and Carlos and tell them I said hi. I am not giving birth anytime soon. I can take care of myself." I shoo her out of my bedroom since she's been a bit overprotective since I came back from L. A where I broke up with E.J.

It's like she thinks I constantly need a best friend or else something will happen to me or I'll have a mental breakdown and need Nini.

I guess that's why she helped me find a therapist but my therapist can't be there all the time.

"Hey little one, you are going to be good for Aunt Gi, right? No kicking or messing with my hormone levels while she's here." I talk to my belly while I wait for Gina to knock on the front door.

She said that she would come to pick me up so that we could eat out for an apology dinner.

I didn't want to drive alone to see her after her dance class and she said that she would find a healthier place since eating out isn't healthy for me anymore.

I just hope she understands that my mood swings are driving me crazy and the baby is starting to kick.

I'm starting to get more symptoms and I am going to pay for our dinner. I am trying to make it up to her and control myself.

My friends have done a lot for me and now I have to do something for them.

"Avi, Mari, Tania, Kindra, Isla." I talk to myself and type the names on my phone notes app like Nini told me to do.