"Would You Love Me Now?" A RJ Mpreg AU

Send a sign, if you're leaving me behind

A/N: Ricky is 7 months and two and a half weeks along here.

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Ricky's POV:

I've been spending a lot of time in my apartment with Nini planning my baby shower since I left the hospital.

I am so sick of it.

To be honest, I don't even want a baby shower.

Why should I have a baby shower?

My mom isn't coming. I don't have a significant other. I don't have money for it. And I don't really feel like celebrating a male pregnancy that wasn't planned.

Nini's convinced I need bed rest 24/7 but that is not what the doctor said.

He said that I couldn't do physical labor like heavy lifting and I needed someone to watch me.

I also have to take more pills to keep the baby healthy.

This is so frustrating.

I can't even play guitar with Little S' bump.

"Earth to Ricky, where were you this morning? You weren't at Just for a Melody. Maddox finished with donation inventory and wanted to tell you," I look over at Seb who is walking a few feet beside me as we leave Urth Cafe.

I didn't want anyone to point out my bump this early in the morning.

It's only 10 am and I had to get up early because I had an appointment with my therapist.

My OBGYN said it would be good to talk to someone about how I'm feeling now since I've been avoiding it.

"Therapy," I mumble and stir diet iced tea around with a stick aimlessly.

"Oh, is everything okay? I'm here if you wanna talk about life, the baby, or the music school."

I love Seb.

He's easy to talk to and doesn't mind talking about mpreg.

"Yeah, I guess. I'm scared for these next few months. My dad and his boyfriend, Mike are looking for a place closer to me. So that they can help me out. Nini is probably going to be in grad school, Gina is busy teaching, Big Red is just as scared as I am and is trying to get into dating, and Kourtney is more excited than I am and she's not even giving birth." I leave out the part about what my therapist really said to me.

"I feel like everyone's leaving me or putting their life on hold for me. I didn't ask for this. It feels like added stress. It's exhausting relying on other people." I blurt out before he can respond to my last statement.

"To be honest, I was just as stressed as you were. I had no idea what I was doing and I was constantly asking Carlos to not put college on hold. I was a mess," I listen to Seb talk as we walk back to Just For a Melody after our short break.

Geez, that makes me even more scared.

There's a moment of awkward silence between Seb and me as we walk back to the music school. The silence is so awkward, even Little S doesn't wanna kick now.

"Seb, I'm gonna move on from E.J. I have to for Little S and for me," I blurt out of nowhere.

"Wow. I've never heard you say that in the last few months, I've known you. I am so proud of you. I'm here if you need anything. Newborn training, baby clothes, and accessories, or even just someone to talk to during late-night feedings," I listen to Seb talk and feel him gently side-hug me afterward.