"Would You Love Me Now?" A RJ Mpreg AU

And I know that I'm to blame

A/N: Ricky is 4 months and two weeks along

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E.J's POV:

I've been petting Angel for the last hour and I swear she sheds fur so much I need a better vacuum for the apartment.

"Ash, listen to me. I made a mistake!" I yell at my cousin who is my female best friend in Utah.

"Yeah. And now you can't fix it! Why are you ranting to me about your problem when you could be I don't know apologizing to Ricky for cheating on him with your ex!" I hear her yell at me on the phone call since she couldn't facetime me.

"Because I need help! My roommate, Pearce is on set right now. Ricky blocked my number and I don't have a car." I start ranting to her more since I already told her about the mistake I made with the devil who wears Prada.

I told Ashlyn everything because I trust her and she's in Utah so she won't kill me, yet.

"I wonder why..."

"I know that I'm to blame. It was a bisexual disaster. I hooked up with her in her trailer and we almost had sex. I told you about the tweet she posted about the condom I left. It's not my fault that she's not as nice as she was at Caswell law. Hollywood changed her!" I run my hand down Angel's back feeling frustrated that she won't listen to me.

I mean Pearce told me his story and it's rough but Ashlyn here doesn't understand that people make mistakes.

I know that this was a big mistake even going to her trailer to talk and run lines but what am I supposed to do with my temptations and things I miss? I missed her. I thought I did.

"Hollywood changed you, cuz. What happened to the guy who used to open the door for me at restraunts and bought me tea when I had stumach cramps? What happened to the guy who loved movie nights with their family and baking time with me?" I hear her voice start to lower on the phone call.

"If I were you, I'd ditch A Billion Sorrys. And find a way to say a billion sorrys to Ricky who is carrying your baby! Oh, wait, you can't. He blocked your number and hates you." I can hear her roll her eyes over the phone even though we're in different states.

"Gee thanks, cuz. You are no help." I sigh while letting Angel run off my lap.

"No, I am helping you by saying that it's too late to fix what you've done. If you show up unannounced at Ricky's place he's gonna hit you on the head and shut the door on you. Why did you even have to talk to Anastasia in the first place? Who cares if she switched occupations? I never liked her in your dad's office." I listen to my cousin sight to me sympathetically.

"I'm a bisexual disaster. I'm figuring my life out. I can't help it that I like boys and girls." I sigh knowing that she's right.

I let my sexual desires get to me when I knew that Ricky was pregnant back in Anastasia's trailer. I let myself mess up just like how my parents are separated. Ricky and I's baby might have separated parents.

"All I'm saying is E.J, who wants to be a dad to a man's baby after having sex with a woman? Have you ever thought about I don't know writing Ricky a letter or something? I know that he doesn't know the entire story about you and her. It's also easier to write than to show up unannounced. Have you ever thought about anyone besides yourself? Being a parent is a lot of responsibility. Ricky has his hands full even before the baby comes. Did you two ever talk about wanting children?" I hold up my phone to my ear while already feeling tears brim in my eyes.

"Ash, I'm really really really sorry. I don't know what I'm going to do. I messed up so bad. I can't fix it. I can't turn back time. I need to talk to him. I need to be there for him. He's never going to talk to me again though." I sniffle a bit and let my tears fall from my eyes since Pearce isn't here to see me cry again.