Dreaming Of You - Jenna Ortega imagines

I gave my blood, sweat, and tears for this, jo (2)

In which you deal with the loss of your last living family member, the middle stages; bargaining and depression (2)

Listen to: You're On Your Own, Kid - Taylor Swift

tw suicidal thoughts

The bright light made you squint your eyes as they tried to pry themselves open. Just as you tried to get up, a wave of pain washed over your body, making you grunt and fall back onto the bed. "Ow." While you were trying to get your eyes open and seeing clearly, you heard two figures stumble awake when they heard you. After squinting and blinking a few times, you open your eyes to see Jenna and Peter over you. "Holy shit." You flinched, terrified for your life. "Don't do that."

"Are you okay?" Jenna asked, putting her hand on your leg as you pushed yourself up. You looked down at your body, seeing that there was only a gown around your body. 

Your eyes widened, looking down at yourself. "Who took my suit off?" 

"They can't operate on you with your suit on." Peter mumbled, as if it was obvious. 

"Okay, but you never answered my question, how are you?" Jenna put a hand on your shoulder, making you look at her once more.

"How good would you feel if you got stabbed after fighting multiple men?" You retorted, before groaning at another wave of pain. Jenna immediately got up, Peter going off to get a doctor. 

"Lay down again." She lowered her voice.

"Jenna, I'm fine. It wasn't necessary to get surgery on me." You grumbled. "I can heal on my own."

"He had a huge blade stuck inside of you, y/n, I don't think you could heal that with your powers." She looked as if she was on the verge of tears, making your gaze softened. "God, y/n." She scoffed as she wiped the tears. 

You held back any comment of wanting to die, it was something you thought you deserved, but you held it back because you didn't want Jenna to cry. 

Although you had an amazing family growing up, school wasn't the best for you, it caused so many of your now mental issues. You've always thought about going down the darker route, but what stopped you was seeing how your family would react, so, you internalized all of your feelings, not wanting to hurt anyone with them. You've done it with your family, you'll do it now. 

You made a promise to yourself to never let Jenna know about how undeserving you are of this life you have, just so you wouldn't upset her. "I'm alive now, okay? I would say I'm okay but I'm kinda not." You held her warm hand in your own.

She let out a wet laugh, sniffling slightly. "I just- I don't want to lose you." You nodded, you understood how she felt. "God, I would've been so pissed at myself if you died before I could ask you out."

"Jenna, it never would've been your fault-" You stopped yourself, rewinding what she had just said. "Wait what?" A flutter went around your stomach, but you weren't entirely sure if it was from the pain or from Jenna.

"Alright, Ms. Parker, I'd like to have you know that you'll be amazing in no time." The doctor announced, walking into the room. You tore your eyes from Jenna, looking to the doctor. "Your body works wonders, it started to heal as we did the surgery. I guarantee you that you'll be fine, just as long as you don't go around swinging like you always do."

"What?" You exclaimed, sitting up too quick. 

Your eyes fluttered shut as you let out a soft grunt of pain. "Woah, take it easy. You don't want to risk opening the stitches. We can't have you swinging around and getting stabbed, it could ruin the progress your body made."