Dreaming Of You - Jenna Ortega imagines

Would you break it, if you're honest? jo

In which it's not working

Listen to: idontwannabeyouanymore - Billie Eilish

The rain poured, thunder crackling very far away. You were drenched head to toe, your hand raised to knock on the door. You've been contemplating actually doing this, unable to knock. It was about time. The two of you knew it was coming. 

You looked to the doorbell, realizing that it was a Ring Doorbell, meaning that she's been able to see you standing there all this time. "Shit." You lowered yourself to be closer to the camera. "Jenna, if you're watching, can we talk?"

A few seconds went by, you took a few steps back, waiting patiently. You heard the door click as it unlocked and it opened to see Jenna. "Y/n," Her voice was barely audible above the rain. "Come in."

You shook your head, taking a half step back. "I need to stay out here." Her shoulders relaxed, she realized what was going on. You sniffled, clenching your jaw. "You know why I'm here, right?"

"I do." She was basically whispering. Your chest was in a knot, you knew that if you started to cry, it would be hard to recognize in the rain. You kept your chin high. "Y/n, can we talk about this inside?"

"Jenna, come on," You were so shaky, you were unable to get those words out of your mouth. No matter how much you try to open your mouth, nothing came out. "If I don't do this now, it's going to be so much worse for the two of us."

She nodded, sniffling a little. Unlike you, she wasn't in the rain, and you could see the tear about to fall down her cheeks. Your hand itched to wipe that tear away, to reassure her. "I know." 

"We're not good for each other." It was getting hard for you to breath, but your body refused to make any other moves. "We aren't like what we used to be."

You bit your inner cheek as you wait for her to say something. "Y/n, please just say it." She begged, tears freefalling. You were pretty sure you were crying too, you couldn't tell if it was tears or the rain.

"I don't want this anymore than you do, I don't wanna say it." Your eyes caught behind Jenna, seeing a familiar figure in the back. Emma. Your face changed, Jenna noticing. Right before she could ask you, you spoke up. "Have you been in love with me, lately?"

Her eyebrows furrowed, she crossed her arms. "What are you talking about?" You felt your chest tightening even more, you felt like you were about to pass out. "Of course I loved you." 

"But were you in love with me?" You felt like there was a lump stuck in your throat, you had to swallow it down to make sure you weren't going to throw up. "Be honest with me, that's all I'm asking for now." Jenna looked down, ashamed. "Oh my god." 

She looked back up at you, guilty. "Y/n-" She reached out to grab you, but you stepped back once more. "Y/n, you have to understand-"

You shook your head. "What do I have to understand? That you haven't been in love with me, so you continued to string me along?" Your voice was on the verge of cracking, you knew that you were avidly crying. Your heart being ripped to shreds, bit by bit. 

"I couldn't break up with you." You scoffed at her, shaking your head in disappointment. "I couldn't bear to ruin that happiness you had. I made you so happy, and it was real happiness." She tried to reason, you looked away, sobbing into your hand.

"I wasn't making you happy anymore, so you didn't fucking talk to me about it? Instead you go to Emma." You gestured towards the girl behind Jenna. Jenna turned to see Emma, looking back at you with a shake of her head.

"Y/n, it's not like that. I would never cheat on you." She stepped out, she needed to grab you, to reassure you. You wouldn't let her do that, taking a step back. "You have to believe me."

"You cheated on me, emotionally." You spat, anger now coursing through your veins. "I came here to break up with you because I thought we were on the same page about how we felt about each other. Then, I fucking find out that you've been on this page for so long. I can't believe you." You scoffed, turning and walking off.

Jenna followed after you, ignoring the rain that began soaking her clothes. "Y/n, please." You shook your head, turning around to get in the last word.

"Save me the rest of the heartbreak." Your eyes were sort of blurred, hot angry tears running down your cheeks. "We're done, Jenna." You walked off in the rain, leaving her standing in her driveway. All you wanted to do was to run to her, kiss her and have her back, but you couldn't 

It was fully over between the two of you, nothing there to reignite the spark. You were still in love with her, but you couldn't be with her. It wouldn't be good for either of you. You deserved better, she deserved someone else. It killed you, but it was the truth.

Maybe in some perfect world, Jenna still loved you. But this wasn't the world you lived in anymore.