Intro:
This feedback is for the book Suta's Samragyi by ProdigiousFlames. This chapter will be dedicated to the author. Suta's Samragyi is an action-adventure story filled with unique ideas and interesting characters.
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Detailed Review
What Worked:
For starters, Suta's Samragyi looks incredible. The aesthetics and overall design is captivating. The custom gif you use is gorgeous. On Wattpad, aesthetics is one factor that draws readers in. When it comes to the visuals, you have that nailed and I wanted to keep reading to see more of all the gorgeous love you put into it. Also, the meme of the day is a cute idea and I hope you continue to do it.
Along with that, the plot itself is intriguing. The pacing keeps the plot moving without it feeling dull or bland. This is easily the most unique story I've ever read, which keeps me and other readers engaged in what's happening. The world is rich and vibrant, and although I am not someone who can make images while I'm reading, I could imagine parts of the world and the characters, which is an impressive feat.
Ishani is an engaging character that I enjoyed reading the most. She's a fun read and adds lots of intrigue to the story. For example, I love chapter 19 and how it's described. The dialogue takes a backseat in favor of description and feeling, and it's magnificent. I would recommend doing more like that because it was such an impressive chapter I wanted to read again and again.
The character descriptions are all unique and help separate the cast. For example, the description at the start of chapter 2 does a great job of setting up the tone of the chapter and the tone of the character we are about to see.
Lastly, the chapters are good lengths. Many authors struggle with chapter lengths, but each chapter begins and ends naturally without feeling forced.
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What Didn't Work:
Most of my suggestions are grammatical. When it comes to character and plot, I think the story is great. Once you improve the grammar, it'll be even better!
I am normally an advocate for less dialogue tags; however, this story could use more since it is a dialogue-driven story. There is plenty of dialogue that is untagged and difficult to read because we [the audience] don't know who is speaking.
Here is an example of how to properly do a dialogue tag:
"Hi," she said.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
The tag is the "she said" and "he asked". When using a dialogue tag, it is always lowercased unless it is a proper noun. No matter if the dialogue ends in a question mark, comma, or anything else, the tag is lowercased unless it is a proper noun.
I.e.:
"Hey," Raven said.
P.S. If you are using a dialogue tag, the dialogue cannot end with a period.
"Hey." she said (Wrong).
"Hey," she said (Correct).
Some more examples:
"I'm sorry." She mumbled (Wrong)
"I'm sorry," she mumbled (Correct)
"Get back here!" peter shouted (Wrong).
"Get back here!" Peter shouted (Correct).
Dialogue tags you should use:
- Said
- Asked
- Replied
- Shouted
Dialogue tags you shouldn't use:
- Growled
- Hissed
- Spat
There are more you should/shouldn't use, but that is a general criteria.
Also, to someone who doesn't know the background or context of the setting, plot, culture, and characters, it's extremely confusing. For example, the prologue is very confusing since the "her" isn't given a name until seven paragraphs in. You should aim to make the names of characters known as quickly as possible.
Lastly, there are too many characters all at once, and when combined with the lack of dialogue tags, the readers have no idea who is speaking. There's no way we can know because we don't know the way the characters speak yet. When a character develops a certain style of speech, readers can identify them without the tags, but in the beginning of the story, we don't have that ability yet. For that reason, I would recommend adding more dialogue tags and/or limiting how many characters are in the first few chapters.
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Summary:
- Gorgeous aesthetics
- Intriguing plot
- Ishani is well-written
- Easily the most unique story I have ever read
- Well-written character descriptions
- Good chapter lengths
- More dialogue tags
- Make sure the dialogue tags you already have are properly formatted
- Confusing for those who don't know the background or context
- Too many characters thrown at the audience
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Overall:
Suta's Samragyi is the most unique story I have ever read, meaning I recommend it to anyone looking for a fun experience. Although there are grammar issues that need resolving, the core of the story is intriguing enough for readers to look past the confusing parts and enjoy the narrative and characters.
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Thank you for submitting your story. Suta's Samragyi was a very unique read and unlike anything I've read before. I hope this review was helpful, and please let me know if you have any questions or want another review on any of your future works. Or, if you want me to review the same story when you add more chapters, please let me know and I'd love to :)
More reviews coming soon! Thank you for getting this book to #2 in the promo tag, that's a huge honor considering this just came out like two weeks ago. Leave a comment on the first chapter if you want your story reviewed!
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