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His Untold Truth - Detailed Feedback

Intro:

His Untold Truth was written by Andreachim98. It is a BTS fanfiction following original character Millie and BTS member Kim Taehyung along with Millie's police officer best friend, Park Jimin. It is a mystery crime thriller with only five chapters out so far, but of those five chapters, there is a lot of suspense and intrigue.

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Detailed Feedback

What Worked:

Alright, yes, we know what my name is, we know who I bark for, so I might as well start with him since we know I have a lot to say.

Park Jimin.

While he isn't in the story much so far, I think his inclusion is going to play an important role later, and the role he's played now has been very sweet and very Jimin. He's helplessly in love with a woman who's in love with someone else, and he drops everything to help her at all hours of the day, even if he doesn't personally agree with what she's doing. His devotion to her and his kindness is very well-portrayed. Considering this is a dark story covering dark subject matter and toxic characters like Taehyung, having Jimin as the levity and light was a good decision considering it fits his irl persona. Obviously it's fanfic so you don't have to go by real life in any way, shape, or form, though it is a nice touch to have Jimin, the angel boy irl, be an angel boy here, too.

I know I'm super biased since Jimin is literally in my name, but I think having him be there but not too prominent to focus on the Millie-Tae relationship was a smart decision. Whenever he's around, he has interesting emotions where you can tell he's so whipped and in love with her. I'm not just praising Jimin because of my adoration of him, though. I genuinely think his inclusion in the narrative works well and creates an interesting dynamic. It also opens more doors to dialogue from Taehyung where you hint at his possessive and dark side, though I will talk more about that later. It also gives Millie more emotional grounding since her relationship isn't only to Taehyung; she has more than one person she cares about. Oftentimes in stories that go in the kidnapping direction, the female lead will have no one outside of the person who kidnapped her, so having another strong relationship in the book made it more realistic and fun to read.

I apologize, but I have to let it out. Hang on, here it comes...

OFFICER PARK 😍😍😍😍😍😍🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤😩😩😩😩😩 BARK BARK BARK WOOF WOOF *howls like a pack of wolves during a full moon*. OFFICERRRRRRRR 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 POLICE OFFICER PARK JIMIN BARK BARK BARK 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😩😩🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭

Okay, there, I got it out. Let's move on.

Let's talk about Taehyung now. I mentioned earlier that Jimin's inclusion leads to more dialogue options for Taehyung since he's very clearly jealous of Jimin. You do a good job showing his toxicity in such subtle ways. For example, Taehyung is always comparing himself to Jimin and even claiming he's more trustworthy than Jimin. To Taehyung, it's a competition where Millie is the prize.

I'm just speculating because only five chapters are out and we don't know the full story yet, but based on what I've seen, it almost seems like Taehyung loves the idea of her, not her. He does feel genuine love, but it's not necessarily because he loves her, but rather he loves the idea of love and the idea of being the #1 man in her life. Jimin's presence is a roadblock for him that he can't get over.

In chapter 5, she breaks her phone again and really should go home since otherwise Jimin is going to send an FBI raid to them (exaggerating, but you know what I mean); however, Taehyung is adamant about her staying and manipulates her into thinking it's okay and she should spend the night. He uses her attraction toward him against her and gets what he wants. He always finds a way to get what he wants.