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The Five Cursed Witches: Volume 1 - Detailed Feedback

Intro:

The Five Cursed Witches: Volume 1 was written by High_Priestess_Elena. It follows the protagonist, Zoe, who struggles with a curse where any living thing she touches with her bare skin will die. The coven oppresses her by threatening her father, which forces Zoe off on an adventure to find a witch hunter, but the seemingly simple mission goes wrong in the worst way imaginable.

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Detailed Feedback

What Worked:

The prologue is actually a prologue???? What the heck, that never happens. 99% of the time, authors on here think prologue just means chapter one when that's not at all what a prologue is. You actually know the difference between a chapter and prologue, thank you!

I know that may seem like a small thing to praise, but even writers I work with in real life sometimes don't know what a prologue really is. Not to mention it's a good prologue that does a good job setting up the story without feeling bloated or so vague that we have no idea what's going on. You establish the stakes, the characters, and the purpose of the scene in an effective way. You don't waste our time and you also don't move through things so quickly that we don't get a chance to process it. It's a good balance.

In general, the pacing is good. There is heavy exposition in some areas, but I think that's okay because of the way it's written. There's still stuff happening when the exposition comes, and it also comes during quiet moments, so the exposition makes sense in the spots it's in.

Overall, the pacing remains even throughout the narrative. There are the bigger, more emotional moments, then the quieter scenes where we get to know more about the themes, plot, and characters. It's a good balance that doesn't make the reader feel under or overwhelmed. Also, the way information is revealed isn't overwhelming.

This is the second story I've read recently that has redhead representation, and I'm so here for it. That's a small thing, but I really love to see redheads in media. It makes my redhead heart happy, and that added to my personal enjoyment of the story. I know that's another small thing and I try not to get too deep into personal enjoyment for these reviews since I want to stay more objective, but I wanted to take a second and say I personally enjoyed this story a lot!

I feel like I need to buy a cake for you, author. Not only do you know the difference between a prologue and a standard chapter, but you also do dialogue tags correctly, and I didn't notice any tense issues. It is so incredibly rare for me to find authors who do one of those things right let alone all three of them. You should give yourself a pat on the back. 

Like I mentioned earlier, there are writers I work with irl who have these issues. These are gifted writers in school to become authors or writers in one of the companies I work for, so the fact that you do these things correctly is awesome since not many people do. Writing is very hard, especially the grammatical side of it. The fact that you're on this level is impressive.

Moving into the creative side of the story, Zoe is a very engaging protagonist. Right off the bat, you establish a clear want for her character. You establish the stakes, her backstory, and a few of her core traits quickly and effectively. It doesn't feel forced or rushed, and you give us enough information to get us invested. That makes the hook pretty solid, which causes readers to come back and want more.

Her character traits make sense given her life circumstances. Mentally, she's in a bad state due to her being unable to touch anything with her bare skin. She doesn't know the touch of grass, or a mother's loving arms, or even a true hug. Even when she does touch things, she has fear nestled inside her; it's an instinctive fear that triggers whenever anyone comes close.