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Kayadhu Kalyaan - Detailed Feedback

Intro:

Kayadhu Kalyaan was written by Kanhakisakhi. It is a historical fiction based on Indian history and mythology. It has quite a few characters, like Kayadhu (the daughter of the king of serpents) and Lord Vishnu. This narrative has many magical elements that make for a fun adventure.

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Detailed Feedback

What Worked:

To begin, I'd like to praise the story idea itself. It's very creative and rich with history and culture. Wattpad is too overrun with cliche stories that have the same old same old, but this book tries something different and uses interesting characters and plot points to make it happen. I'd say my favorite part of the narrative is how much creativity it has. It's oozing with vivid ideas that I can tell you put a lot of work and passion in to.

When it comes to presentation, I like how you presented the story with a trailer and aesthetics. It's a small detail, but it helps draw me into your work. I know that's a really tiny thing to point out, but I think it's worth mentioning since the aesthetics were interesting and fun.

I like the lore for all the characters and how you set it up. It almost feels like a story time session, if you know what I mean. Almost like we're getting told a bed time story, which is a good thing since it makes the story feel so imaginative that it speaks to our inner child. In simpler terms: the characters have intriguing backstories that make me want to learn more about them and continue reading the story. It also has this magical feel in terms of how the world is presented to us, but I'll bring that up in more detail in the paragraph below this one.

Another thing I want to bring up is the world and how fleshed out it is. You take your time to describe the environments and even offer reference pictures. While I'm not a huge fan of a lot of pictures in stories, I think it works in your book since it adds more flavor and visual to your complex imagination.

Although I have some suggestions for the wording of certain sentences, I think you overall did a good job bringing your idea to life. There are some very fun and vivid descriptions. Considering this is a magical story, you having magical sentence structure and word choice fits in with the genre and plot.

I'd say my favorite part of the book is the beginning with the king of the serpents, Nagraj Jambha. I found it interesting how his wife had a curse placed on her to die without bearing a child, and how he became desperate to have a child to nurture and love. It was really wholesome to see him wanting to have someone to love in his life, and I felt bad for him. When he found a baby in the lotus, I was relieved to see something had gone right for him. All in all, Jambha's backstory was the most emotional for me, and I enjoyed reading his segment of the narrative.

I know I just went on and on about the king of the serpents, but that doesn't mean I didn't like Kayadhu's segment of the story too. I also liked her storyline and how she goes through many intriguing journeys. For example, the chapter titled The Underworld, the realm of Demons had a lot of interesting imagery and plot events that made me more invested in her character. I liked seeing her have a playful sense of adventure where she wanted to see everything even when she felt fear. It gave her clear personality traits that showed in her decision-making process, like in that same chapter I just mentioned, her deciding to keep going toward adventure due to her excitement.

In general, I think you did a good job making the characters have personality traits that show in the way they act and make decisions. I just mentioned Kayadhu's sense of adventure, but I also like Nagraj Jambha's desperation and how he prays and prays, trying his best to prove his devotion. There's a variety of emotions present in this narrative, which is a good thing since it means the characters are going through what real people would go through: emotional change. When you make the characters feel more relatable, readers are going to want to read more about them.