Review Shop - Quotev And Wattpad (CLOSED)

Mayapuri - The City of Dreams... - Detailed Feedback

Intro:

Mayapuri - The City Of Dreams... was written by KhaliqahAzima (I love your name!). It follows Ajay and Renuka, two people belonging to middle class families and dealing with various struggles because of parental and financial pressure. This story is packed full of love and social commentary as we follow Ajay and Renuka.

~~~

Detailed Feedback

What Worked:

I think one of the strongest parts of this story is the worldbuilding. The world you have is super fleshed out with interesting cultural terms and places. I'm an American so I don't know much about the culture, but I still was able to follow along for the most part because there was a lot of detail and love put into crafting this world. India feels very fleshed out and real in this book, and I really liked how you brought it to life.

For example, I really liked the rounds of vows in chapter 8 and how they were described to us. That entire chapter was really good and might be my favorite in the whole book so far, but I particularly liked that moment since it felt so nice to read. Almost calming to read, if that makes sense? It gave me a sense of calm as I read it, and I was able to transport myself into your story and forget about the real world for a few minutes. It's rare for something like that to happen to me, especially when I'm giving reviews since I tend to be very alert and taking notes while writing, but for a moment, I was able to just kinda chill and read. That was really nice, thank you for that.

This is a small thing but it relates to the worldbuilding. I liked the pictures you included. You didn't use too many to make it overwhelming, but you used great pics that gave me a clear idea of the things you were describing. Again, that's just a small thing, but I still felt it was worth pointing out!

The concept is my second favorite part of the story behind the worldbuilding because the plot and ideas in this are executed pretty well and I enjoyed reading about them. I think you have an interesting overall story idea that has a lot of complexity. It's tough to tackle these types of topics, and I'm glad you took the leap and decided to write about them!

Now, let's talk about the two lead characters.

Ajay was probably my favorite. I liked Renuka too, but Ajay spoke to me a little more and I found myself really loving him. This may sound weird, but I really liked the scenes where we saw him working or got reference to his work, like in chapter 10. I'm a big workaholic, so watching him work and seeing how dedicated to his work he was made me relate to him a lot. It may seem like a small thing, but the small things matter for characterization, and you did a great job giving the characters quiet moments that gave the audience a chance to feel for them. That's why I ended up liking Ajay so much. I enjoyed watching his personality unfold, and I liked the quieter moments he had that I personally relate to (I'm typing this at 12 a.m., so lol Ajay staying up until 1 a.m. on his laptop is just like me right now!).

Renuka was fun to read about too. I liked her gentle smiles and seeing her look happy about her food. Like I said in Ajay's section, she got some nice quality moments that made me relate to her and want to see her succeed. She had cute little quirks and traits that made her stand out, and I ended up enjoying her more and more as the story progressed!

Overall, I think you have good protagonists who do a great job driving the story forward.

The commentary on the middle class is very engaging and up there with the worldbuilding as one of my favorite parts about the story. I don't read a lot of stories that deal with the middle class, so seeing this was very unique and piqued my interest when I read the blurb. In the story itself, it's executed well and you put in little details to make the world of the middle class feel more realistic. I think you're sensing a theme: you do a great job with the little details, which is imperative for keeping readers engaged. A lot of authors don't include the smaller details, so you should be proud of yourself for that!