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Lemon Like Love - Detailed Feedback

Introduction:

Lemon Like Love was written by Ipsitalali. It is a police thriller story that follows the protagonists, Lenna and Matteo, as they put their differences aside to work together. Lenna has a complicated past that creates tension between her and Matteo as Lenna fights to prove her innocence.

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Detailed Feedback

What Worked:

For starters, I really really really like the cover. I love the font of the "like" and how it's different from the "lemon" and "love" without feeling awkward. I like the little dividers used above and under the font. I also love the background picture. The pistol stands out because of the sharp golden color, and the money in the background says a lot about what the book is going to be about. Lastly, the crime scene tape at the bottom is a nice touch. There's no blank space on this cover; every inch is utilized, which makes it pop.

I believe the story's bio says the cover is from Throne Kingdom, and I would say you made a great choice going to them since it's a wonderful cover. It immediately caught my eye and drew me to the story!

Similarly, I like the banners used throughout the book. At the end of the chapters, that colorful banner with the gun and heart-shaped lollipops is very cute but also super fitting for the story. I really like all the colors put into these aesthetics.

While on the topic of the presentation of the book, I like the title. Like the cover, it pops and adds flavor (literally cause of the "lemon" in the title) to the story. It's an intriguing title that caught my eye immediately. It's colorful and unique, which will lead to people being interested in clicking on the story.

The first chapter does an effective job setting up who the characters are and putting stakes in the story right off the bat. It ends on a cliffhanger that gets readers excited to click on the next part. I think you have a good hook that doesn't drag on or add unnecessary details. It gets straight to the point, which is great.

I'm writing a police thriller right now, so from a personal standpoint, I thought this was a fun story! It actually got me inspired to continue writing my police story even though I haven't done much work for it in six weeks. So thank you for giving me motivation to keep writing it! I loved the overall feel/vibe of your work, and it captured my attention from the very first chapter.

You definitely put the "thrill" in thriller. There are a lot of great action scenes in this story with cool set pieces. The action scenes come at good times and don't feel forced in there to keep it exciting or anything like that. The truth is, I think the story's exciting enough even without the action scenes since I like the dynamic between Matteo and Lenna. However, the action scenes are like the cherry on top, y'know?

They don't feel rushed and they add a lot to what's going on. They raise the stakes and also characterize the protagonists. I really appreciated how you took action scenes and did two things at once: provided awesome fight scenes and brought more depth to the characters. For example, in the abandoned hospital chapter, Matteo is being cocky and showing off his intelligence by finding weapons on the spot. Those subtle details show who the characters are in high pressure situations.

In my opinion, the best action scenes are the ones that help characterize the ones fighting and also shows off what the characters are good at. In that scene, we see Matteo is quick on his feet and improvises in a matter of seconds. It's a great quality to set up, especially so early in the story and within the realms of a fight scene.

The pacing is pretty good. It doesn't feel too fast or too slow, but rather just right. The way information is revealed is solid. You set up what you need to set up without rushing it, but you also hide enough to keep us invested. You reveal Lenna's past in the very beginning, but all the details are shown more throughout the story, which adds more layers to her than I expected.