Intro:
This feedback is for the book Reincarnation by MoonLightGoddess1. This chapter will be dedicated to the author. Reincarnation is a short historical fanfic following BTS member Taehyung and a woman named Y/n as they discover their passion for each other.
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Detailed Feedback
What Worked:
Despite me being a BTS fanfic writer, I never read BTS fanfic. Or anything, for that matter. I don't read much lol. That's why it's nice to sit down and read this. The BTS fanfic world is absolutely beautiful and I think a lot of people outside the fandom underestimate it because it's BTS. The descriptions here sucked me right in and I loved the way you describe and show Taehyung in this story. He's so good in it and I enjoyed reading about him! These BTS fanfics I've read for this review book are starting to convince me to read more...
I love love LOVE the visuals used. All the pictures you use for the scenery are beautiful. I loved each one, especially the one of the lake in chapter 2. That one made me stop and stare for a few seconds. So gorgeous!
I also love the setting of the story. I study Korean culture and history and seeing all the ways you described the historical side of South Korea was absolutely incredible. It made my Korean studies heart happy. Even though I am biased because I study it in college, I'm sure even for casual readers who know nothing of Korean culture/history it's interesting. South Korea has so much rich history that makes for great story potential. I'm glad you took it that direction!
Good loooord did you have to go and make Taehyung an archer? 🤤🤤🤤 It did some things to me I would rather not repeat for the public. That was super attractive. I always love it when characters have certain skills they're known for, like archery. It's a small, cute little detail that I enjoyed seeing. It also naturally set up why Y/n and Taehyung would meet in the first place.
The reincarnation plot is very interesting. I should have expected it since it's literally the title of the story, but it caught me by surprise in a good way. I forgot about it because I was invested in the historical period. That means I was very engaged and was like :O when the second half of the story happened.
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What Didn't Work:
Remember every new person speaking needs to have their dialogue separated. Give line breaks between every new person talking.
For example:
"Hey," Raven said.
"Hi," Jimin said.
Not:
"Hey," Raven said. "Hi," Jimin said.
It's confusing to read and we lose track of who's talking very quickly. Breaking up the dialogue will help the reader understand what's happening. You'll see a lot of readers misinterpreting the text because the dialogue isn't broken up.
I'm guilty of doing that with my past works so I know it's a common mistake. Once I fixed that, my writing became much stronger!
Also make sure you're formatting dialogue correctly. Every dialogue that has a dialogue tag needs punctuation at the end that is not a period.
For example:
"Hey," he said.
"You okay?" he asked.
Not:
"Hey" he said.
"You okay ?" he asked.
Question marks do not need an extra space between them and the last word in the sentence. See the above example if that is confusing.
Remember end punctuation in general. I noticed your paragraphs don't end with periods, which is odd. End punctuation is very important otherwise it looks like the sentence didn't end.
Try to avoid cliché phrases. You use quite a few of them like "my heart skipped a beat" or "we got lost in each other's eyes." It doesn't do anything for the story, it actually draws the reader out of it. Try describing the situation in more unique ways. Avoiding cliches will help your story feel more unique and it will make readers more engaged.
You have tense issues. Although for the most part you stay in past tense, sometimes you slip into the present tense incorrectly. Make sure you're keeping your story in past tense since that is the POV you're writing in.
Lastly, I only have one suggestion when it comes to the creative side of the story. Up until now, the suggestions I've had were all technical writing. When it comes to the pacing of the story, I would recommend slowing it down. It feels very quick between Taehyung and Y/n falling in love to the intense scene where the king orders Taehyung's death. I don't believe their love by this point because of how quick it is. So, my recommendation would be to slow the pacing down and let the audience see more of them, that way we can get more invested in their stories.
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Summary:
- Great aesthetics
- You describe Taehyung well (bonus points for him being an archer)
- The setting is solid and sucks me right in
- The overall plot of the story is engaging
- Dialogue formatting
- Try to avoid cliché phrases
- Tense issues
- I would recommend slowing down the pacing
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Overall:
Reincarnation is a short, easy read that manages to do a lot with its limited runtime. It's a refreshing look at a historical romance that has an interesting reincarnation plot. If you are a BTS fanfic lover, this is a great story for you.
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Thank you for submitting your story. I always love reading BTS fanfic and this one was right up my alley! On a serious note, you seem like such a sweet and genuine person, and I wish you nothing but the best. I hope you keep seeing success with your stories and you become a big Wattpad writer 💜 You got lots of potential, I can't wait to see where you go from here.
More reviews coming soon. I'm getting caught up now and I'm getting through all the requests. I'll be starting author interviews soon. Most people who requested an interview also requested a review so I figured I'd tell you here lol.
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