Intro:
Bond was written by Rainshade123. It is a short but sweet MLP fanfic that can be read in one sitting. It follows Twilight as she visits a sad Fluttershy who needs a spirit lifter. Twilight obliges and performs a spell that can help make Fluttershy happy.
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Long Feedback:
Bond is an adorable story that focuses on, as the title implies, bonding with friends and appreciating the people you have in your life/their memories. I really liked the overall plot/theme going on here since it was cute, to the point, and didn't try to overcomplicate things. You told the story you wanted to tell, and you did so effectively with good word choice and unique sentences/paragraphs that gave the audience a lot to work with.
The characters are vessels for the theme, and I enjoyed reading about Twilight and Fluttershy's cute relationship and how they care for one another. Fluttershy was the one who physically needed her spirit lifted, but I feel I had my spirit lifted more than her when I read the narrative due to its wholesome moments and emphasis on bonding with those around you.
Overall, it's a fun, engaging, sweet little story that I believe anyone can get into regardless of if they're in the fandom or not. I really enjoyed my read, and I'm glad you decided to publish this short!
I only have one critique. There are tense issues where you flip flop between past and present tense incorrectly. The story is mostly written in present tense, but there are many times it slips into past tense incorrectly. Like: "That worries her, as it's quite strange. She had to hurry." Do you see how the first sentence is in present tense then the second is in past? That's what I mean when I say it flip flops. Another example is dialogue. All of the tags are in past tense. If you're writing in present tense, they need to be in present tense. In present tense, past tense is used for things like identifying the past in the story's timeline, so it's not used very often. It's only used in specific cases.
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Summary:
- Adorable story
- Nice, wholesome themes
- The relationship between Twilight and Fluttershy is cute
- Tense issues
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Overall:
Bond is a cute short story that is easy to understand. Even if you aren't a fan of MLP, there is a sweet message to take away from this narrative. If you're someone looking for a new, fast read that will still leave you with lasting emotion, then Bond is the perfect short for you!
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Thank you for submitting your story. Please let me know if you have any questions or would like any additional reviews!
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