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I didn't like how silent she became. I didn't like how her body got so stiff or how the color on her face had drained completely. She wasn't saying anything and though her eyes were on me it was like she wasn't even there.
Like I had already lost her before I could even defend myself.
" I'm a part of an Italian mafia. The Don actually. The whole businessman stuff is a cover up." I continued.
" I was born into it and as much as I didn't want to be part of it...I had to. I knew what I was getting myself into but at that time I saw it as something to take my mind off...things." I gulped nervously, feeling my stomach knotting as I neared a subject I would never be okay addressing.
" Things? Things like what?" Charlotte pushed herself up, withdrawing from her place beside me.
I knew she had every right to do that. Her action was justifiable. But it hurt like hell.
" I..."
" What could drug dealing possibly do that therapy or something like that couldn't?" She frowned, her breathing becoming slightly laboured.
I lowered my head and clenched my fists again. I didn't want to talk about it, but my future with Charlotte wasn't looking so bright right now so that was out of the question.
" Matteo please." She whispered.
" I really want to believe you're not the bad guy. So tell me. Tell me what it is that made you want to be part of something so terrible and illegal. Please." Her voice was barely audible but I caught it.
" It was a woman." I breathed out, sitting up straight so the lump in my throat could stop suffocating me.
" The most beautiful thing I had ever seen. It wasn't in my nature to fall in love. I basically spent my whole life running away from my own parents so while I was hiding away in Italy, I saw her. She was all alone, seated on the sand and staring off into the sun set. She was just thinking, but it was a breathtaking sight. I fell in love without even knowing. " I felt my heart clench as I narrated to her.
I could never forget that day no matter how hard I tried because if I did, then I was basically forgetting a big part of my life.
" But she was taken." I growled.
" She was taken from me even before I could have her, and that broke me." I pushed back that lump that was beginning to make my throat hurt.
" By who?" Charlotte whispered. Her tone was different though, but I was too lost into the recollection to bother.
" My own cousin. He was married to her already. They were on their honeymoon." I sighed.
" Alexander was the biggest jerk at that time. He didn't know how precious she was and treated her like shit. But she was fiesty, and I guess that's why I loved her. She put him in his place and eventually had him on his knees for her. There was nothing she couldn't do, believe me. We had quite the adventure. She was just.... amazing." I breathed, a sad smile forming on my lips as I remembered all we had gone through.
" You loved her?" I heard Charlotte ask.
I wasn't looking at her anymore. I was too scared to see her reaction.
" Yeah. I was so madly in love it hurt. I wanted to take her away and lock her up but I couldn't do that to my best friend. Alexander was a jerk, but I was no different from him. She was the one who changed us both. The one who made me realize that love actually did hurt. " I sighed.
The lump in my throat was surprisingly beginning to fade. It had been years since I got something like this off my chest and I never thought I could. But here I was, doing it.
Maybe this was what I needed. Maybe this was what needed to be done. The only way for me to finally move on with my life. I mean, I have a daughter for fuck's sake yet I see this woman in my dreams every night.
" My parents finally found me. They got me married to Anastasia and forced me to take over the family business. My elder brother was...sick so I had to be the one to do it. I didn't want to at first, but she was messing with my mind, Charlotte. I was losing my fucking mind because of her so I accepted. I killed so many people in hopes that I'd eventually forget everything...." I sighed, smiling slightly when I felt the emptiness in my throat.
The lump was gone.
" I'm not proud of it, Charlotte. But in a sick, twisted way, it helped me. My parents weren't the nicest people. Heck, they're monsters, so I had tons of things to take my mind off her for at least a little bit."
Now that I had basically told her everything, I took the risk of looking at her. She wasn't looking so scared anymore but there were tears in her eyes as she stared at her palms.
" I understand if you still think I'm a bad person. I am. But I never wanted to be this way." I smiled softly at her, my eyes now stinging with unshed tears.
" I never wished to become a murderer." I choked out.
" Were they innocent people?" She whispered.
" Hell no. There's no innocence in the mafia Charlotte. Everyone is wicked, cruel or forced into that life. " I replied.
" Then I don't think you're a monster. I am a little bit scared, I won't lie. But I don't think you're a monster. You've treated me well and you're an amazing father, Matteo. I just hope in the future you won't have to be part of all that. " She smiled softly at me.
I was shocked to say the least, but overjoyed. Charlotte didn't hate me. She didn't want to leave me or ask me to leave her and never come back.
I blinked back the tears in my eyes and wipes the ones that had streamed down her cheeks with the pad of my thumb.
" As long as you're with me, I can promise you that."
And with that being said, I smashed my lips against hers. This wasn't like the pecks I'd given her before. It was more like the one we shared when I took her to her grandmother, just more passionate. I was pouring out my emotions into this kiss and with her being equally responsive, it felt so fucking good.
I meant what I told her though. I would find a way out of this just to keep she and my daughter safe.
And who knows, maybe I would get a divorce and make Charlotte that person for me. We'd live a happy life and might even have more kids.
Oh who am I kidding?
That's exactly what I'm going to do.
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I'm crying 😭😭.
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MAFIA'S LITTLE SECRET
Romance*** COMPLETED *** " You can't do this...Matt...We shouldn't -" I struggled to breathe with how close we were. Both his hands were on my sides, trapping me between him and the wall. His cologne was making my head spin, suffocating me. I couldn't brea...
