I can't even look her in the eye anymore

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*Pedri's pov*

We're back. We are back on the field. The new season has started. This is our season.I know it. I can sense it.

I couldn't wait to see all my teammates again. At least most of them.

I mean...I spent the whole summer with Pablo. He didn't let me out of his sight. I didn't even have time to be sad. I also saw a lot of Frenkie. They were in the Netherlands for a few days. Mikky and him, just as Mikky said. Even after they returned, we spent a lot of time together. I had quite an interesting summer.

It's nice to be back. The grass smelled like dew. Everyone was smiling and joking. The atmosphere was great. Even Xavi was laughing and joking with us. Until the trainings started

And there she was. Holding hands with Alejandro Balde. Entering the field.

I can't avoid her. Not here. We work together. We can't avoid seeing each other.

She looked happy. Happier than with me. She was looking at him. She looked at him in a way she never looked at me. With a big smile. She looks at him with loving eyes. She sees love in him. She only looked at me with eyes full of friendship. She saw only a friend in me. If only she looked at me the same way she looks at him. I must not be jealous, she is not mine at all. She is his now.

I wanted to... cry... scream... throw myself on the floor like a child.

I thought I would look at her and see nothing. I thought I was over it. That she doesn't mean anything to me anymore. That I will pass by her like a stranger. But I was wrong.

I barely survived the training

Everywhere I turned I saw her.

I shouldn't be looking at her. She is not mine. She is his. Not fair. He is my friend. We were very close. And now I stopped talking to him for no reason. I got mad at him for no reason, just because he was faster than me. It's not right from me to spoil their happiness. If they are happy, I am happy for them. He is a very dear friend of mine, and I became quite good friends with her as well. I have to iron things out. From both of them.

"Hey what's up? How are you?" I greeted Balde. I can't be mad at him forever. Especially if I have no reason to be. It's not his fault. And it's not her fault either. They didn't know. It's my fault. I didn't say anything. I didn't even give any signs.

"Hey man, great to see you. Long time no see. You haven't called." he greeted me back.
"I'm sorry. I've been pretty busy. I've had a great summer."
"I'm so glad to hear that. You really deserve a break."
"Thank you. I hope you had a good summer too."
"I had a great time. Sofia and I went on a trip to Italy. We stayed for five days." "Sofia and you? I'm so glad your relationship is going great."
"Me too. I was honestly a little scared. I liked her from the first time I saw her. In every possible way. She's perfect. I hope we can keep this relationship going."
"I wish you all the best. You really deserve it." I swallowed the dumpling and spat out. I really wish them the best, but I can't wish them to succeed in a relationship. Because it is against my happiness. And my happiness is somewhat important to me.
"Thanks, man, see you on the way to training." he greeted me goodbye and went to say hello to others.

Here he is. Enter the field.

My man. My Pablo.

We didn't see each other for only a few hours, but I missed him. Especially at this moment. Now.

The training went quite well, like every first training.

Now that time has come. Time to go home. I have to look into Sofia's eyes and ask her 'are you ready to go?' Like every day so far. Only now it's different. Everything is different now.

I managed to avoid her all the way to the exit from the field. I didn't mean to leave without her. I would never do that. Although, now she has a boyfriend, let him drive her. No, that's jealousy talking from me. I can't treat her like that. We're still friends after all.

"Hey, I've been looking for you everywhere." she said coming up behind me.
"I'm sorry. I got ready earlier, so I thought I'd wait for you and Pablo here." I lied.
"I'm not even sure if we said hello at training. Is everything okay? Are you mad at me for something?"
"It's all right. Of course I'm not mad. We just probably passed each other." I lied again. I lie all the time. I can't even look her in the eye anymore.
"I'm glad that everything is fine between us. I just wanted to let you know that I'm going home with Alejandro. He asked me to go together."
"Thanks for the information." I quickly said goodbye and headed for the car.

I really didn't need this conversation right now.

I'd rather just go home now. But I can't just lock myself in the house and not go out. I'm going out with Gavi.






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