Empire of Righteousness

Chapter 60 : Not Hurt Anymore

Upapandavas did apologize to their fathers, Karn, Hidimba and their Mamashree. Panadavas advised them from their experience especially Arjun and Bheem.

While leaving, Draupadi's eyes filled with tears but her heart was swelling with pride.

"Yasasshi vaba, Putro. Vijaya vaba," she blesses them.

"When you return to us after three years Maa, you will be the Samragni of Aryavarta again," Prativindhya promises.

"What I want is you to free Aryavarta of Duryodhana's clutches. I don't desire the throne, Putro," Draupadi says.

They departed with Krishna, Karn and Hidimba.

Draupadi just finished doing all the house works. She also fed Vrishaketu. Now as her routine, she will sit on the porch of their hut waiting till midnight for any hungry man to come.

"Panchali," Arjun sat beside her.

Draupadi didn't say anything. In her mind she was feeling uncomfortable. God forbids if he again starts to act all that lovey dovey. That's so out of their character. She means they were never like this with her and now it's makes her uncomfortable beyond words.

"Arya, I am sorry about their behavior. Please don't take their words to heart. They are still child. They don't understand a lot of things," Draupadi says

"They understand more than us, Panchali. What we didn't notice for months, they noticed in a matte of seconds. Nor you nor should our children say sorry. It should be us apologizing. We wronged you, yet again..." Arjun sighs.

"It was my decision. You didn't do anything," Draupadi assures.

"Panchali, we have been trying for months. But you remain aloof from me. In Devapath all our sons, this whole Aryavarta thinks your love for me made you accept the marriage. That you love me so much that you sacrificed so many. Then why don't I see it? Why don't I feel it anymore? Please Panchali, I may have done a mistake but forgive me. Your heart is so big. Please Panchali I know I am not as great as you," Arjun puts his head on her lap clutching her hands tightly.

Draupadi stays quiet. After so many years she is this close to the man whom she garlanded in her swayamvar. After he broke the vows, a huge wall appeared between them. No matter how much they tried, they couldn't cross it. Draupadi lost her trust on her Phalgun and Arjun couldn't overcome the guilt.

Draupadi separated herself from him completely. She never stepped a foot in his palace for years. She never seemed to look for him. Arjun knew she is punishing him. But his heart was too burdened with guilt to make her forget all his deeds and accept him. With time, the wall grow thicker. And now they don't even know each other anymore.

"Panchali, I never regretted my silence more than I do now. I should have spoken against your division. I should have stood up against Kuruvansa. I shouldn't have stopped bhrata Bheme in that Sabha. I am sorry," he sobbed like a child on her lap.

"Stop...Phalguni...there's no use of your tears anymore," Draupadi cups his face and wipes his tears.

"Panchali..." Arjun calls with all his helplessness.

"I don't have the ability to fall in love again. Pardon me, my Phalguni. First time in my life I will be selfish," Draupadi whispers.

Arjun nods his head stubbornly weeping like a child. He can't lose her....

"No...I can't lose you...I am sorry....punish me...curse me...don't say that you have closed the door of your heart for me...Panchali...if it's true I should die this moment..."

Draupadi stops him from saying the sentence. Her soft palm covering his mouth as she looks at him terrified.

"Don't say something like a mad person. This doesn't suit the great Gandhivdhari Arjun," she says sternly.