The unloved heart of Rae Wilson

Chapter 39

I swear if these jeans don't fit. Try them on. No no that's not how this works. What are you talking about now Rae? Trying on clothes at the thrift store is bad luck. Raul gave her a straight face. I'm serious okay!!! Last time I kissed Matt and now Ramiro is dead. Those don't even correlate. He laughed. STILL! Then I almost kissed Leo. Okay? That has nothing to do with the store. You're not hearing me!!! I am and it's stupid. Stoppp. Just try them on Rae. Fine! But only because I wanna see your face when they don't fit. Okay and you'll be wrong about that too. We'll see. Yes we will.

They fit. She deadpanned. HA! I win. Let's just go. Raul smiled hugging her. You okay? It's been like three days I'll be fine. I mean about mom. Rae got quiet. Sorry I didn't mean to. No it's okay, I cried about it a couple days ago while Nicole was with me and now I feel weird but how are you? Managing. I understand that. Raul pulled out the hug and looked at her. I honestly think I'll be okay...it's just really fresh right now. Grieving has no time limit. True.

I did NOT pick my nose! Rae you're a liar. Okay man. He laughed. Thanks for buying me and Ro some new clothes. Welcome. Why do you do that? Do what? Say welcome instead of you're welcome? You're welcome sounds so fancy like "YOURE" welcome! Sounds like I'm getting greeted by the First Lady in England or some shit. WHAT?! Rae snorted. Am I lying?!? YES. They both laughed. Rae you're so strong I don't know how you do it. I dream. What do you mean? I dream of stuff..things and I think of mom and they happen. Oh Wow. Like with Ro after you guys moved out, I dreamed we would make it out someway somehow and thought about mom and it happened. Hmm. I can't explain it but it's like she approves of them...she was my god and my light. That's beautiful. I still do it, ask for her approval with things...everything even with forgiving you and she said yes because she had hope for you and she needed to make me realize so I did. Rae I'm so happy that you did but I understand if you still need time especially with Ramiro and what happened with him. I don't, I'm sure of it. Okay. Rae smiled. Hope is a seamless as that watering tree, hope makes me believe, hope sneaks up on me and tells me things, hope is my nurturing flee. Where's that from? I made it. Rae that was amazing what?? She laughed. Thank you. Of course. You said it like it's your favorite poem or something. I think it might be. Thank you. No thank you. They both smiled.

So what'd you get me. Um clothes. But are they cool?? It's clothes..look at them. Don't be rude Rae, be an fashion expert like me. Raul laughed. Got you some shorts and cool shirts. Thanks Raul! See he GETS it Rae. I can't care enough TO get it Ro. Thank you anyways. You're welcome. Welcome. Why do you never say you're welcome? Let's not . Rae said. Okay! Hey Ro? Yeah? How do you feel about Ramiro? Oh I don't care. He shrugged. Are you sure? That's a lot of trauma for you. It's okay sissy! We're getting therapy. That's also fine! Don't do it kid, I never took it. You can still take it. I have my strawberries. Fair enough. Po smiled. Speaking of do I come to your game or are we not that type of family? Am I not that type of parent. You should come! I want you too. Oh? I'd love to. He said kissing Rae's cheek and walking to his room. I'm gonna go try on my clothes! I'm gonna go home. I'm gonna go talk to Leo. Oooh. Raul and Ro said in sync. Shush. Sissy has TWO guys, you don't even have ONE girl Raul. Okay calm down and how's sally since you wanna get on me. Oh she's great but I'm onto Sarah now. DAMN. Rae regarded. Right right. Raul responded laughing a bit.

Ro was asleep in his and Rae's room. It was their first night back home since the Ramiro thing. Rae was just looking at Ro in case he'd jump, flinch or shake. She called it the nightmare rotation and it always happened as soon as something bad happened and he hadn't dealt with his trauma well enough. She couldn't fathom losing someone else especially Ro...he was her light, he was her best friend because she never had one of those and she knew from the moment her mom was pregnant that they would need each other. Po opened the door and motioned for Rae to follow him. She silently pointed at Ro. Po waved it off and insisted for her to hurry but in the end it just had them both waving their arms looking stupid so she gave in and followed. WHAT man? I'm in nightmare rotation right now with Ro. We will be fast. Good. Rae sat down with Po and Raul. You guys aren't asking me to join a cult are you? Today isn't the day..it's a Sunday they go for more of an Tuesday. Po deadpanned. No no it's something more simple and less life giving. Oh okay! Raul laughed. So through the night week Raul is gonna take you guys to school and then his house and on Friday he's gonna drop you back here until Sunday and so on. Oh? That sounds great actually. Whew okay. You thought I was gonna say no. I mean you seem pretty happy about the cult. No that was YOU. Both of you guys. Just SHUSH. Po and Raul both got quiet. I'm sure ro is gonna love it. Love what?? You and Rae staying with me for school and Po on weekends. Sounds great..is this a dream? They all laughed.

You're terrible Raul, how do you not like Mac and cheese?? It's awful...PLUS I had it too much as a kid it taste all waxy. Rae and Ro gave him a stare. Choose your next sentence wisely. Yeah or you'll get the SPOON. Rae laughed. I'll just eat my salad I made earlier. SALAD??? They said in sync. Since when do you eat salad? Since three years ago. There's no way. At least make a steak or something. Raul laughed. Vegetarian. WHAT??! This HAS to be a nightmare. You guys should try it. So you want me to scoop my eyeballs out next is what I'm hearing?? What sissy said!!! My eyes are beautiful Raul I get them from my mother who's recently passed so I'd like to honor that. Me too! Your eyes are just just. Just what? Brown. Ro gagged. You guys you guys. What? What is it now? Brown eyes are superior. It's a nightmare, fully convinced. This is the cult joining ritual I swear. Raul laughed. Say what you want.