Rae was in her bed looking up at the ceiling thinking. Thinking about her mom and her dad and even Ramiro...she thought about the game and Matt and how she handled those situations . How she felt and how she never told anyone.
What do we do? She's obviously depressed. How do we know? I've seen it in people, seen it in Cassie. She's just sad and traumatized. Yeah but sad and traumatized people are sad and traumatized...depressed people are different. So do we take her to a doctor? We can. NO! Ro please. Sissy is okay. And are you? You can't tell me that those nightmares have stopped. They haven't but it's none of your business. When it affects your mental and physical health. Still. Ro. What?? Am I wrong? You are. She's already dealt with the trauma ever since she started to walk it didn't matter..she got hit so what does talking to a stranger do but make it worse?? I'll go. Everyone looked at her. Don't say anything please and we can just go. Okay. Ro you're going too. Sis-. I'm out of sissy's right now. Yep. Rae walked over and dropped down to Ro. It'll be okay..this is scary I know but so are those nightmares and we gotta get that figured out. Ro looked at her. Okay. Okay let's go.
Rae was in the shower but she doesn't even remember turning it on or taking her clothes off for it. She was just going through the motions of her mothers death and thinking it was normal...maybe it wasn't and maybe diagnosing an 15 year old was next level insanity but things seem to happen. Rae opened her mouth and gargled the shower water then spit it out at her feet. Rae got out of the shower and sat on the toilet...crying. She covered her mouth and continued.
And we will get your favorite food. Sure. Yeah. Hm. I'll see you kiddos later. Bye Po. Bye. Rae, Raul and Ro walked into the doctor office.
It seems that you do have depression and it's been awhile since you've had it, anything huge happen recently? Mom died, slit my wrists at the hospital she was placed at and now I'm here. Ah, I'm sorry about your mom. Thanks. So everything is still fresh? Pretty much. Wow that's horrible. She was great but I don't wanna talk about it. But you SHOULD...that's the point, it doesn't have to be me or your family but there are plenty of therapists out there would love to help. Okay. Okay? My friend has an aunt that is one. That's great! Hm. I'm gonna put you on antidepressants just for a month or two and we will see how you react to them and will check up every few weeks. Okay. Okay great so I'll just set that up. The doctor said clicking at the computer. Amazing. Yep. Alright that is set...have a good rest of your day Rae and take it easy. Okay you too. Rae walked out.
Rae and Ro were back home but Po and Raul were gone. Sissy? Yes what is it Ro? Your sadness consumes me. What do you mean? When you're sad even merely it takes over me because I've always looked up to you and when you're sad I feel it ten times worse. Ro started to breathe more heavy than usual and looked at her. I feel it times 100 right now and you don't notice it. Ro was crying. Ro ro ro. No don't touch me! Stop Rae. Rae stood and looked at him. You're the best sister ever and I'm just here and you can't see that. Ro I'm feeling what you're saying right now. It's like you hate me. Ro mom is gone and Ramiro is too and. There it is. Ro. The more I root for you and what you do the less my happiness is in me...it's gone and I can't get to it because YOU'RE in the way. Ro handed her his boat from his birthday. Rae watched him walk away and started crying.
Rae took an antidepressant and took her plate to the couch. Raul was sitting on the couch looking at her. Rae what is it. I'm not only depressed but I'm sad and it's worse because me and Ro aren't good and he's Ro he's always been Ro to me not Roel..I mean I came up with Ro, that name when he was a few months and mom couldn't think of one it was ME and yeah "sissy" isn't as creative or out of this world but it holds power to my chest and now my chest holds sadness and I need it to be okay with us.. god raul he's my best friend. Raul scooted closer and rubbed her back. I know I know. I can't. It'll be okay. I need him to be okay. He is also going through stuff that you didn't notice. I'm so stupid. Rae you're not, you're the best but Ro has grief and trauma too and he doesn't need you hurting that. I won't hurt him anymore. And don't hurt yourself either, okay?
Po walked into the room and sat next to Ro. Hey kid. Hi. What's wrong? Everything. No it's something that's really bothering you. Rae. That's a first. No it isn't, you guys just haven't noticed because she's older. Age doesn't make a difference. Okay Po. Wait slow down. No I'm not going to because I've seen more dead bodies and abuse than any six year old should and I'm supposed to move past it but I'm also sad that MY mother is dead and that I've gotten bullied and had to be friend those bullies and comfort Rae I mean where is that for me? Ro we can talk about it. Now we can because I've said something. No not only that but because I've noticed it and didn't say anything because I knew you'd have a moment where this would happen and I'm perfect for it, Ro your willpower to stay positive is so defining it makes it hard to notice everything else but that doesn't mean I haven't notice you sad or upset and you have every right to be but Rae has gotten you to a place where we're talking and you're not scared so it's good to see you appreciate that and still be frustrated. Yeah. It'll breeze by but let's talk about your mom.
Rae laid down on her and Ro's bed and looked up at the ceiling. Ro you're my best friend. You're still mine Rae. Let me finish real quick. Okay. Ro your name is something I close my eyes and think about when I can't breathe and it makes it easier because you've always been the positive to my negative and I took that for granted but in a room with a thousand people I see you, you know that I do but your frustration is understandable and somehow it's hard to see that and not because I mean to ignore you but because you've handled all this horrible stuff alone while still managing to worry about me but Ro I was there with you when those things happen and maybe we didn't have deep talks about it but you were still the positive and I'm sorry I wasn't that for you so I want to figure this out together. But sissy? Yes Ro? You have depression..I mean how are you gonna get through all of this. That's not a question and I don't have an answer because we've always gotten through it. You and Me. Me and You. Exactly. Ro hugged Rae and started to fall asleep. Goodnight sissy. Night Ro.
YOU ARE READING
The unloved heart of Rae Wilson
Adventure"I swear this was my last time getting hit". Rae Wilson whose fifteen is heavily abused by her father and Her mother was too so bad that she suffers an brain injury and isn't the same anymore because of it. Rae still manages to take care of her lit...
