Liar, Liar, the Mage's Desire Vol. 4 (The Oumeno Menace)

Undercover Lolita (8)

      Kokichi arrived at the corner of the street across from the café where he and Celeste stood the evening before. As he passed the alleyway, he didn't notice a vehicle of any sort, but he figured it would come later when he was inside the café. He gazed at the building of the café, preparing himself to go inside. As he took a deep breath, the overcast clouds above began to break, sending a stream of sunlight through. Kokichi smiled his usual cheeky grin and moved forward. 

   "I've got this," he said to himself. "Don't worry, Himiko. I'm on my way." He entered the building, remembering to take the elevator to the third floor, where Celeste said the café would be. Kokichi followed the pink hallway towards the café's entrance. He looked up at the sign "Lolita Land Café" written in blue, save for the first two letters in the first two words, which were written in pink and decorated with bows. Kokichi stared at the sign. Something about it seemed odd. Why would only those two letters be different from the rest? He didn't have time to think about it, however, because he was pulled out of his thoughts by a pink-haired hostess in a baby blue and pastel pink sweet lolita dress. 

    "Welcome home, princess!!" she squealed happily. 

   "Princess?! " Kokichi exclaimed. The hostess blinked in surprise. 

   "Um...yes, you are a princess returning home from a long journey, remember?" she asked, trying to remain in character. Kokichi remembered he was supposed to act like a girl, and that this was a role-playing café. He let out an annoying, high-pitched giggle.

   "Heeheehee...oh, yes! Pardon me!" he said. "Um...take me to my seat, please!"

   "Of course! Right this way!" the hostess said. She turned and led Kokichi into the café. Kokichi observed his surroundings for anything out of the ordinary. So focused was he on his surroundings that he nearly jumped out of his skin when the hostess rang a bell. "Everyone, the princess has returned!" she announced. The other hostesses turned to greet Kokichi before turning back to their customers. 

   What kind of ritualistic shit is this?! Kokichi thought to himself. The hostess brought him to a table and handed him the pink, heart-shaped menu and opened it. 

   "It's so good to have you home, princess!" the hostess said to Kokichi. 

   "Home" is not the first word that comes to my mind, you weirdo, Kokichi thought to himself. This is more like a one-way ticket to your worst nightmares. But he kept smiling and nodding at his hostess, despite his horror and disgust. "Thank you! It feels super-duper wonderful to be back!" he said. His hostess squealed happily in response. Kokichi shuddered and felt like puking. He couldn't believe he said something so saccharine in a sickeningly sweet way. 

   "By the way, princess, my name is Hana, and I will be your hostess this morning!" Hana said. 

   Yeah, I can see that, Kokichi grumbled in his mind. And if this bitch keeps calling me "princess," I'm going to lose my breakfast before I get a chance to eat it. He cleared his throat and smiled sweetly at her, which hurt his cheeks...and his self-respect. "Well, thank you, Hana. Sooo...what's on the menu?"

   "Here, we have our most popular magical drink, the 'Happy-Happy, Wishy-Wishy!'" Hana said. Kokichi stared at her in disbelief.