Liar, Liar, the Mage's Desire Vol. 4 (The Oumeno Menace)

The Supreme Leader's New Groove (2)

       Deep in the heart of Japan's capital city, Tokyo--now renamed "Oumaha," by order of the Supreme Leader--stood the Imperial Palace, where lived the Supreme Leader himself, Kokichi Ouma. He was nothing more than a spoiled, conceited sixteen-year-old, who spent the majority of his time playing video games and then afterwards, would whine about being bored, instead of using this time to learn how to properly run a country. His greatest desire was to become the most memorable leader in the world, which is why he loved stirring up trouble and causing mischief.

   "BOOM-SHAKA-LAKA, BABY!!" Kokichi exclaimed, busting the doors to his throne room wide open. His cape flowed elegantly behind him as he danced his way over to his throne. Halfway there, however, chef Teruteru halted him in his tracks.

   "Supreme Leader! I have your breakfast for you!" he announced proudly, holding a large platter of pancakes in front of Kokichi.

   "WAH!" Kokichi cried in surprise. Then, his surprise turned to anger. "Ugh! Teruteru, you jacked up my groove!" 

   "H-huh...what?" Teruteru stammered. "B-But...I got you your breakfast!" Kokichi leaned forward to him with a menacing smile.

   "And is that any reason to throw off my groove?" he asked in a low voice. 

   "U-Um...w-well..." Teruteru stammered. Kokichi pulled a nearby lever, which sent Teruteru soaring through the air. He crashed through the ceiling and flew out of the Imperial Palace. The plate of pancakes fell back down onto Kokichi's palm, and he continued dancing over to his throne while eating, and plopped himself down onto it. He leaned his body on one arm of his throne, and hung his leg over the other. "Man, do I looove bein' in power! What's on the to-do list today, Kirumi?" His royal advisor, Kirumi, stepped next to his throne, holding out a phone to him.

   "Kokichi, you have a phone call from-" she began

   "A-bup-bup! Whoa, whoa, hey, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa," Kokichi said, holding up a finger to her. "Whoa! Okay? Run that by me one more time?" He cupped his hand near his ear. Kirumi sighed deeply.

   "My apologies...Supreme Leader Kokichi," she corrected herself.

   "Nee-heehee...much better!" Kokichi said. "Now, what did you want, Kirheumatoid arthritis?" Kirumi cleared her throat in annoyance. 

   "As I was saying," she was saying. "You have a very important phone call from the President of the United States." She handed the phone to him. Kokichi held it up to his ear.

   "Heeeey! Joey, baby! What's up, Star Spangled Buddy?" he said. "Hm? You wanna meet up with the other world leaders to discuss the impact of global warming? Mmm...nah! Sounds boring! Hey! You wanna stop global warming? You might as well tell everyone in the world to stop breathing, y'know, with all the hot air that keeps getting released into the atmosphere. I'm pretty sure they'll listen to you. You are the most powerful man on the planet  after all. Problem solved! Love to talk more, Joey, I really would, but I can't right now, oookay? 'Kay, Joey, love ya, babe! Check ya later, JoJo!" Kokichi hung up and scoffed, tossing the phone aside. "Ugh...I hate that guy," he muttered. 

   "Supreme Leader, why would you do that?!" Kirumi exclaimed. Kokichi threw his hands into the air.

   "He's so annoying! All he complains about is global warming this, global warming that!" he exclaimed. "The Earth is getting warmer, so what?! What does he want, a second Ice Age?! Jeez!"

   "You mean...you prefer the other one in office?" Kirumi gasped. Kokichi gave her an evil grin and wiggled his fingers sinisterly.

   "Of course," he said in a low voice. "I love being his puppeteer." He tossed his head back and laughed evilly. "Remember January 6th? I dared him to start the insurrection, and told him that if he did, I'd give him all of our government secrets. Of course, that was a lie, but, man, that guy is super gullible and will do anything you tell him to! Mwa-hahahahahahaaaa!!"

   "Supreme Leader, aren't you ashamed of yourself?!" Kirumi scolded. Kokichi sighed and hung his body over the arm of his throne.

   "No, I'm bored," he whined. "What else do you have planned for me today? Let's get it over with. I have things to do...things that I wanna do."

   "Well, since you will be coming of age shortly, I have brought more choices for your future wife," Kirumi said. Kokichi groaned.

   "Uurrgghhh...why do I gotta get married?"

   "To continue your bloodline, sir," Kirumi responded irritably. 

   "Yeah, I know that!" Kokichi huffed, pouting as he crossed his arms. "But, why do I gotta do that now? Can't that wait 'til later?! Hmph!" 

   "You need to choose a future wife now," Kirumi insisted. Kokichi wiggled his eyebrows at her.

   "How about you?" he joked. 

   "SUPREME LEADER!!! " Kirumi cried, jerking back in disgust.

    "Nee-heehee...yeah, you're right," Kokichi said with a cheeky grin. "I'm way out of your league!" Kirumi uttered a disgusted sigh and headed towards the doors to the throne room. She opened them and ushered in a line of teenage girls, who walked timidly over to Kokichi's throne and stood side by side in a line. Kokichi stepped off of his throne, eyeing each girl and insulting them as he went down the line. 

   "Hmm...too tall. Too fat. Too dumb-looking. Too scrawny. Too pale. Too smelly. Too...yikes! What gave birth to you?! " He turned back to Kirumi. "Send them back! They're all pathetic!" The girls trudged dejectedly out of the throne room, some sobbing, and some glaring daggers at Kokichi. 

   "Supreme Leader Kokichi, you must choose a future wife," Kirumi warned. 

   "Yeah, yeah, yeah...I get it," Kokichi replied, waving his hand as he sat back down on his throne. "Look, is that all I have for today?"

   "No...you have one more citizen who wanted to see you," Kirumi sighed. "A magician."

   "Pffft...seriously?" Kokichi scoffed. "I'm too old for that kind of entertainment!"

   Are you, though? Kirumi thought to herself, rolling her eyes. 

   "I heard that," Kokichi murmured, grinning slyly at Kirumi. Kirumi blinked and reared back in surprise.

    "W-What...?" she breathed.

   "Nee-heehee...well, whatever!" Kokichi said. "Send in the magician!"