Chapter 38

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Lynn stumbles back to her couch, she falls down onto it with tears in her eyes. "God fucking damn it!" she loudly yells. She drove her friend away, Jenna was right. "I thought I knew how she felt, I thought I knew her. But I didn't." Lynn felt terrible, worse than ever probally. She hurt Jenna in a way she didn't even know was possible. "I was too stupid to believe her when she said she loved me. She loved me, and I thought she was just messing with me." Lynn holds her head in her hands as tears roll down her cheeks. Lynn then realises something, maybe Jenna gets lost. What if she isn't able to find her way alone. Lynn quickly jumps up and looks out her window, there she goes. Walking away from Lynn with her suitcase behind her. All Lynn can do is watch how Jenna leaves her, unable to do anything about it. Lynn felt so powerless. Lynn watches Jenna for as long as she can, then Jenna turned the corner out of the street. "That was it, the last time I saw Jenna. I fucked this up so bad." Lynn falls back down. She is less worried about Jenna because she recognizes the way she went, towards the train station. It's maybe ten minutes walking. Lynn thinks Jenna will make it, she wants to say she knows her and is sure that Jenna will make it. But right now, Lynn doesn't know anything.

Then Lynn's phone rings, she expects it to be her mom. But when grabs her phone to pick up it is her schoolfriend Finn. Lynn wipes her tears away and picks up. "Hey Finn, happy new year, what's up." Lynn tries to say in the least sad sounding tone she can manage. "Hey Lynn, happy new year. I was just calling because I heard from some friends that you are Jenna Ortega's girlfriend. Is that true." "Honestly, I don't think I'm anything of Jenna now." "What do you mean?" Lynn contemplates for a second if she should tell Finn but she doesn't care anymore. Plus she trusts Finn enough to tell him this. So she does, she tells him everything, even the things she didn't tell her mother. It feels so good to get it all off her shoulders, Finn listens to her throughout the entire story. "So she left, I drove her away and now I ruined our friendship." Lynn feels tears coming up again. "So let me get this straight, you did all of that and when she confesses to you it turns out to be real, damn that's rough." Finn says from the other side of the phone. "So you really don't like Jenna like that?" Finn asks. "No, maybe a little, no. Ah I don't know!" Lynn feels so confused. "Okay then, what do you feel when you think about Jenna." "Well sad of course!" "Okay but before tonight, when you looked at her or thought about her. What did you feel." Lynn thinks, about the times they did all these nice things, there always was a hint of this one feeling. "I felt warm, I thought it was excitement but it felt so unfamiliar." Lynn says. "Warm, did you feel happy, was it a nice feeling?" Finn asks. "Yeah, it kind of was." "Then you're in love Lynn. What you were feeling was love. And when you two had a fight and you felt so empty, it was because you missed her, and being together with her." Finn says. Lynn feels her mind explode. "LOVE, IT WAS FUCKING LOVE" Lynn's mind screams to her. And she finally hears it. "I love Jenna. I love her." Lynn actually laughs as she realises it. "How could I be so stupid! I'm a terrible friend!" Lynn stands up and paces around her room. "I let her go, I made her leave, I ruined everything!" "Lynn calm down." Finn tries to help. "Nothing calm down, I let her leave! I lost my one and only chance." "Are you sure, do you think she has already left." "No it looks like she was walking towards the train station." "For safety there are no trains until one in the morning." "One?" Lynn quickly looks at the digital clock on her oven. It's twelve forty-seven. "I can make it." "Then go Lynn, get your happy ending!" Finn cheers. "Thank you Finn, for everything." Lynn runs to the hallway as she slips off her heels. "Of course, that's what friends are for." Finn says. Lynn smiles and then she hangs up. Lynn throws on her coat and some sneakers, grabs her keys and runs outside. As she runs out of her building she sprints down the street. She runs where Jenna just walked, She can't afford to let Jenna go. So Lynn sprints, all the way down the street until she turns the corner. It's just straight the entire way now. Lynn really doesn't have the stamina to run like this but the risk of loosing Jenna is enough to make Lynn push through the pain. Lynn runs and runs until her legs hurt and her heart beats in her ears. But Lynn can see it, the train station, she made it. Lynn runs towards the entrance with her phone ready, she doesn't use the train often but she got a free-use card from school, and it is very usefull right now. "Come on!" Lynn opens the gates and runs into the station. Now she has to find Jenna, it can't be that hard right. Lynn just quickly looks at the few people walking in the hallways underneath the rails. No Jenna. So Lynn runs up the first set of stairs she sees, once she comes up to the platform there are barely people. A few drunk guys and what seems like some tourists, again no Jenna. "She is here right? Jenna would be sensible enough to get a train towards the airport so she can go home. That is what would be most logical, but with Jenna nothing is logical anymore. Lynn runs back down and goes to the next platform. She runs up and looks around, it is surrounded by rails so only a few benches are set on the platforms, but it's empty. "I can't loose her." Lynn runs down again and goes to the final platform. Lynn saw a few people standing here so she still has hope. Lynn sprints up the stair and onto the platform. Lynn scans over the people, an old couple, some teens and some teenage girls laughing. No Jenna. "No, damnit, NO!" Lynn angerly turns around. She scans the platform once more until her eyes fall on a store, it's a small 24/7 supermarket that for some reason is still open. "Let's just hope." Lynn swallows in anticipation. She steps into the small supermarket and nods to the clerk, it's a man seemingly drunk. Lynn walks to the back of the store, no one. This was it, Jenna isn't here. Lynn feels herself tearing up. This was it, Jenna is gone. Lynn walks out defeated, her last hope didn't pay out. Lynn walks down the stairs back to the entrance. Back out the gates and onto the streets. Lynn bursts out in tears, she can't believe it.

"Lynn?" a confused voice says. Lynn looks up and she is met by the best thing she can see right now. "JENNA!" Lynn says with a smile, she jumps forward to hug her but Jenna steps back. "What are you doing here?" "Jenna I am so sorry, I shouldn't have said what I said and I shouldn't have done the things I have." "Why did you come here." Jenna asks. "Okay here we go." Lynn says to herself. "I have been feeling something I haven't felt before, when I was with you. It was a warm and comforting feeling, I know that now. But I needed the help of a friend to realize what it meant." "Lynn I have a train to catch if you have a point, say it." Jenna says impatiently, Lynn can tell she is still mad.

"Jenna...I love you, I fucking love you and I should have realised it earlier. I Love you more than anyone and I didn't even know it. I love you so much that I would give up my live here to be with you. I love y..." Jenna kisses Lynn. Lynn is surprised but she smiles. Jenna kisses her, Jenna still loves her. "You talk too much." Jenna laughs "Does this mean..." Lynn starts, Jenna nods. "Yes I still love you, how could I not." They both laugh out of relief and then they look into each other's eyes. Lynn slowly moves towards Jenna, Jenna also leans in. Lynn reaches her hands around Jenna and she kisses her.

They kiss, finally the waythat is perfect for both of them. It is filled with actual love, they both knowthey love eachother and it feels perfect. Everything is right, there are literalfireworks going off around them, a small drizzle of rain falls around them.They smile into eachother as they hold eachother close. Their lips slowly partand Lynn looks into Jenna's eyes. They are filled with a twinkle that Lynnloves, and that smile that Lynn loves, and that face Lynn loves. Everything aboutJenna is amazing and Lynn can finally see it. "I love you Lynn, I love you sofucking much." "I love you too Jenna, like I have never loved before."

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