When it gets complicated

Mediocre coffee, with a shot of honesty (KaiSoo)

~Kyungsoo~

"Why a Monday, though?" I ask, tucking my arms around myself in an attempt of comfort.

Chanyeol chuckles and nudges me lightly with his shoulder "because this is the only day the club is closed and everyone doesn't have family to visit. Monday's are our Saturday's."

I roll my eyes at the ridiculous man "No, Chanyeol, Mondays are our Mondays. We work at a cafe, not a club."

Chanyeol shakes his head and sighs. "Don't even act like we're not on their schedule. I've seen you wait up for Jongin almost every night this weekend... speaking of which, Jongin will be there."

I try not to let the slight stumble in my walk go noticed, but Chanyeol's too observant for that. "That's more reason not to go... I-I don't think he likes being around me." I say tightening my arms around myself.

Chanyeol glances sideways at me, giving me his best worried mother duck look. "Why do you say that?"

I shrug and move my hands up and down my arms, like I'm trying to warm myself, even though I don't feel cold in the slightest. "Just the way he acts when I get around him, like he has to fake himself, like he has to put on a mask and force himself to be around me... so I've been staying away from him, I know when I'm not wanted."

My epic plan to be Jongin's best friend crashed and burned... hard. I had all of the confidence, all of the drive, but the next day when i walked up to Jongin in the kitchen, and greeted him cheerily; he looked at me like i just grew another head. Every bit of self assurance I had, shattered. It was like that all last weekend, every time I tried to get close to Jongin, he pulled away, and by the time this past week rolled around, my defenses were working overtime.

Chanyeol stops me with putting a hand on my shoulder and turns giving me a concerned look. "You always do this."

"Do what?" I ask incredulously.

"You assume the worst when you get close to someone, you always jump to the idea that they don't want to be around you, or that they are forcing themselves to spend time with you because they're nice.. Soo, you've done this a million times before." He explains, leaning forward like he's giving me devastating news.

"That's not it, Yeol, not this time." I explain "I feel like I'm getting half of Jongin. It's like I can see the whole painting through the eyeholes of his mask, but it's blurry... he doesn't want me to see him"

Chanyeol shrugs and glances away for a brief second. "You two have a lot more in common than you think you do."

I huff an incredulous laugh. "What does that mean?"

Chanyeol blinks at me and creases his eyebrows "Soo, why are you like this? Why do you think you have an isolation bubble surrounding you. People love being around you. You're funny, smart, and even caring at times... you think everyone has this impression of you being a social pariah and yeah, a few people actually see you that way, but what do you expect when you do that glaring thing?"

I clench my jaw and narrow my eyes. "I have a vision problem, Park Chanyeol."

Chanyeol sighs and tilts his head ignoring my comment. "I know high school was hard on you, and fuck, it messed all of us up to some degree, but Soo... you have to let go of this mind set you have that you're not worthy of anyone's attention or affection. You're not that robotic 'studying is life and the world is pointless' kid you used to be."

"Studying is life and the world is pointless" I deadpan, to which I get an annoyed look from my giant best friend in response.

"You know you don't believe that, Kyungsoo. You've found reasons, things to give your life meaning now. You're not alone anymore, so quit acting like it." Chanyeol huffs and tugs at my sleeve, basically dragging me back down the street.