When it gets complicated

We all have an exception (Sulay)

~Junmyeon~

"So, how's the situation with your partner planning out?" I question, as we make our way down the street towards the cafe.

The other man beside me, smiles gently and nods promisingly. "Good. It's getting better. We've decided to see a counselor on campus to help us work through some of our own problems. It's also a sort of solidarity for one of our members, to make him feel better about seeing one. Normalize it in a way."

That surprises me, and i give my friend a supportive arm pat. "That's great, Kris. It's exuberantly forward thinking of you and I'm glad to see that you're willing to do that for not only yourself, but a friend."

Kris shrugs and his cheeks visibly pink a touch. "Thanks, Myeon. Actually, it's been helping a lot. I've only seen the councilor twice now, but he helped put a lot in perspective for me."

I nod and grin at my friend. "I'm proud of you. This is a step in the right direction."

"I'm a big supporter of mental health awareness, so I'm proud of you, too." Minho says, lifting his foam coffee cup in the air, toasting Kris to his positive correlation.

Looking on as the other two in my company carry on with a short conversation about our department. It makes sense how all of us became sort of friends, due to our similar majors, but also our like minds. All three of us came from wealthy families; groomed to be the heirs for things we aren't particularly ready for.

It's still amazing to me that Kris stepped away from his path. That he broke from the person who has been conditioning him all his life to be a certain way. After meeting Tao, i can understand how much he did for his lover. How much he changed him. It makes me wonder if love is that strong. Can love transcend the basic code that's been programmed into someone since the day they were born?

Obviously my questions are translated into my worry for my own relationship, if i dare to even call it that. My concern about, not only bringing a person into my life whom is the complete opposite of myself, but someone who is ultimately challenging everything i knew to be sure. Everything i knew to be real.

When i look at Yixing, i feel the ground beneath me turn to sand and my path doesn't look as clear as it used to. Suddenly there's multiple exits, when there used to just be one. Which is why i wonder how someone can change your worldview so quickly and wholeheartedly.

Money and power just doesn't have as much meaning anymore. Showing my control and status just isn't as satisfying. It's still amazes me, that, someone who came from nothing, has no importance in his name, and holds no impact on society, can completely discombobulate my thinking.

Yixing is just a nursing student. He lives a simple, menial life. By no means is he unimportant, but compared to the life the three of us have grown up in, Yixing should just be a small blip on my radar, if he showed up at all. But instead, i find my mind so frequently on him. I find myself drawn to him.

When i first realized Yixing's habit of following me around, i tried to let him be. I tried to let it go, but i just couldn't. Yixing's presence just seeped into my bones and tattooed himself there. I made the decision to keep him by my side the only way i knew how to, but pushing a square peg into a round hole never works. Yixing far exceeded my expectations. He's so pure and kind, but also hides an edge to himself. He's extraordinary. No one of that caliber would ever settle for being my secret shadow. I should have let him be when he placed a wall between us, but I couldn't let him go. I couldn't let him walk away, even when he wanted to. Of course i knew that he had the perfect out. Of course i knew that i should have gave up. That i should have just let him go his own way, but i just couldn't. It was too late, and i didn't even know why at the time.