When it gets complicated

Luhan's truth (hunhan)

My jaw drops as i stare at what sits before me. Sehun's closet, in its rawest, un-hidden form. I doubt he'd even have time to cover all of this up even if he did want to keep it away from my view. Shockwaves ripple through my body, but at the same time I'm not that surprised, more overwhelmed.

"Holy fuck, Sehun..."

"I was hoping to ease you into things before i showed you my... collection." He says, his voice sounding far too close for how I'm feeling right now.

I blink at the closet and its contents, taking it all in. Every wall. Every shelf. Every space is filled. Hell, i don't even know what half of these things are, let alone what one would do with them. I'm at a loss and I feel Sehun's hand slide over my naked waist. His fingers slide gently down to my hip, rubbing smooth circles over the dip with his thumb.

"Say something." The plea is deep in his voice.

I wonder how hard it has been for Sehun to date because of this. Someone with Sehun's tastes and style, always having to be careful. To be overly selective and private until he's certain he can trust someone enough. Sehun's been through enough rejection and judgment to last a single person a lifetime. It makes sense that he'd hide this away so desperately, clutched in his hand like a sin. Sehun must have felt kind of lonely in this sense. The world we live in as gay men is already so closed and limited, let alone to have interests that are always swept behind closed doors and called disgusting.

"Where do you put your clothes?" I ask offhandedly and the relived sounding laugh i get makes up for having to push down a bit of my uncertainty.

He points to the stand up boudoir across his room that i for some reason, just noticed, daring to pull my eyes away from his closet for an second. "Oh." I breathe out stupidly.

Sehun sighs and tightens his hand on my hip. "Please tell me what you're thinking."

"Well, I'm not going to lie, Hunnie... this is a lot to take in. Like where did you get all of this? Do you use all of these things? Why do you have so much?" I ask and then i feel a hand on my back, pushing me closer and eventually into the decent sized room. Teenage me would have killed to have a walk in closet this size.

Up close and personal i can see the inside of the closet a lot better. It's organized surprisingly well. Adult toys, kinky items, tools, ropes, even lingerie housed inside the storage area. The way these things are hung up, almost look like how they'd be displayed in an adult store. Organized by category and color. If i take a closer look, I'd probably find they even vary with sizes. It oddly fits Sehun. Being this meticulous even with things like this.

One side of the closet, where the lingerie sits, is immaculately hung up and carefully set. There's a closet organizer built into this side of the wall; one of those stark white, shelves and drawers type of organizers that you'd find in the closet of a penthouse or mansion. There are corsets at the top where a tension bar is set up. So many colors and designs hanging there as if they were waiting to be shopped for. Next to them, separated by a boarder, like each item gets its own special cubby, are leather straps, silver rings, and chains... harnesses. I take a deep breath and wonder my gaze down quickly, not quite ready for that, and find accessories in shallow trays that seem like they are meant for jewelry, but I doubt these things should be used for public wear.

"What are these?" I ask, turning to the younger and holding up two pins, connected by a thin chain that drops down in the middle to another, thicker chain with silver ring attached at the bottom of it.

Sehun smiles, his lips twitching like he's trying his best not to crack up. "Um, these..." He points to the two pins. "Are nipple clamps... and uh, this..." He slides his finger down the long chair and it clicks before he even opens his mouth. "This is a cock ring."